Fear, Flux and Flame

Awoken at 6:45am to the alarm bawling a terrifying shriek, conjures images of prisoners screaming on the final call to death row. An unfortunate but necessary ill on a workday but not today, after a skin and nose-full, no work for nearly a week. There’s rat shit all over the computer desk, piano and across the room, one of the guitars is laid across the floor covered in what looked like rat saliva, could be ratspunk for all I know. The fucker is back, seemingly with a hankering for a music career, I’m just glad I didn’t wake up to it chewing on my face… heard a story about that happening to a kid at school once years ago, always a cause for concern.

It’s been quite a while since I dealt with this vermin. I think it was just over a month back, I’d caught it snaffling down a massive bag of gear that had been left on the table, there must have been around 5- 600 liberty cap mushrooms, 4 grams of DMT, a couple of bags of Salvia and bunch of Peyote buttons. I smacked it once on the side of the head with a hammer just as it was gargling the last few cactus baubles, it had eaten almost everything and managed to dart off after I whacked it. I thought it had crawled off to some agonizing psychedelic hell-death, seems not.

Eh ???

The moment of panic came, but not from the rodent. Maybe it was me who had eaten all that gear and the past month was one long heavy trip, it would explain a lot… or maybe I was still asleep, stuck inside some bizarre extended lucid sleep paralysis, or perhaps this was real, in every day concrete terms. Whatever the craic, the creature had leapt onto the work desk about 8 feet away and was staring me straight in the face, I recognised it by the scar on the side of it’s head where I’d clumped it last time, but it wasn’t really the same creature. It stood about 3 feet tall, on hind legs with massive, reptile-like yellow eyes, big purple locks of hair sprouting from the top of it’s head down it’s neck and huge flopping purple ears that looked quite like the underside of the psilocybin liberty cap. It’s body of fur was covered in big brown and black clumps of shit… and a few mars bar and twix wrappers.

After a short moment it calmed down and mouthed a huge creepy smirk from ear to ear, “That hurt you fucker” BAAAAAAAAAAARP
It belched one huge groaning gut growl that filled the whole room with a pungent bouquet of raw sewerage fused with the stench of burning Dimethyltryptamine, the plastic type fetor that radiates from the fumes when it starts smoking hot.

“I’m gonna let you off with that one as your such a fuckin idiot, and I want you to listen to what I have to say”

Whaadyaaa ??

Art by : ​http://cargocollective.com/jonowen

“Silence earthling !!” “I got stuff to say that you need to listen to, the course of your future is likely to depend on it”

“Your verbal language is metaphor, metaphor that programmes your brain, this in turn constructs your view of reality. The word REALITY is singular, it’s real-world correlative is not, it is a constantly altering multiverse of infinite variety and interchangeability. This is just one minutely small example of how the language-realities developed by your species are fundamentally flawed, you are in need of new semantic programming”

Bluuuuuuuurgh Baaarf schluuuurp

It vomits the half digested carcass of a small bird onto the table then sucks it up. “That little fucker’s not getting away”

“Your consensus cultures are counter-productive to the progress of your species, they are forms of self induced indoctrination and work to crush individual thought, feeling, expression, creativity and progress. Your subscription to mass consensus ideology works directly against your own cultural creations. You must transcend tribal imprints, resist enculturation, do not commit philosophical suicide by subscribing to pre-ordained belief systems, group consensus culture is not your friend, it enslaves you”



Raw ? Who the fuck’s that ?

Baaaaarp, Ronnie Pickering

Eh ??

Fuckin shut it {Schlaaap}

It didn’t move a centimetre but somehow managed to slap me full pelt across the kisser.

‘It’ ? I can hear everything you think. I am no longer ‘It’ to you, from now you call me RAW, from Sirius!! Or I’ll bite your fuckin ear off.

Where was I… Enculturation is indoctrination, by submitting to mass consensus cultures you are unknowingly volunteering to be trapped in perpetual subjugation to systematic insanity.

You’re getting a bit repetitive

Repetition is necessary for semantic re-programming of the human brain. Un-condition your habits by seeing into the multiple reality praxis available to your being. Never accept the ideologies offered by your birthright as being the only one truth.. Fascism, communism, consumer capitalism, old world religions, all political and religious belief systems adopted by your species eventually work to transform you into victims of your own making. Science, your most effective means to date is at risk of being crushed by those known as positivists, they see existence through the eye of a needle and presume to see all.


You’re getting a bit repetitive


Fucker… and you use to many big words

Silence earthling {Schlaaaap}

Aw you cunt

That’s enough for a minute, I’m off for a shit, then I’m gonna eat your food. You should turn on your computer machine and listen to some of the sounds I recorded last night while you were asleep dreaming of being a prophet, you fuckin cretin. Them’s the sounds you’ve been wishing for”



It howled these two proclamations at me before leaping off the desk, yanking open the bedroom door and shuffling its fat stinking arse out of the room.
A 3 foot tall mutant psychedelic rat preacher had just sprouted from underneath the computer desk, mugged me off big time and now began eating all my fuckin food. EH ? And what the fuck was with all this weird new age hippy shit ?

“quit being a smart ass, I can hear everything you think, if you carry on like that I’m gonna come through there and bite off your fuckin lug hole”

I got out of bed and turned on the computer to see if it really had recorded anything. The compooter booted up to a Cubase project screen that had just over two and a half hours of recorded sounds on it. I pressed play from the beginning. Starts off sounding something like the beginning of Back to the Future where Marty McFly plugs his guitar in to the big dumbass speaker and whacks it with a metal plectrum, only ten times worse, what an awful fuckin racket,,, but then,,, something else,,, some crazy weird beat in 11 time, or is it 7 or 9, I can’t tell, it’s all over the shop, with some mad synth melodies, and then some guitar, this is whacky stuff, sounds like,,, nothing I’ve ever heard before, has hints of Aphex Twin (on acid, Uhhu), mixed with Beefheart, Hendrix, Chopin, Yoda… but something else… deeper… feels like its almost hypnotising me… whozzaa, am I floating above the fuckin ground ??


You should have a go at something like that some time instead of moping around with your ‘tortured artist’ bullshit… you’ve actually got some potential
I try, I just can’t get focussed a lot of the time Quit your fuckin whinging, you sound like a toddler crying for his mummy, there’s no-one to blame
but yourself when you reach adulthood,,, OK, here’s a little pep talk, but we won’t be spending long on this shit, I’m not your fuckin psychoanalyst…

You were born into a poverty of sorts, which is surely no fuckin fun. But,,, if you can dig deep, realdeep, dig down deep below the belly, dig to where the fibres meet the synapses and break them, break them and remake them, make them as you wish them to be, then you can grow beyond the limitations of your primary ties, the struggles of your poverty can serve to make your existence all the more interesting.

Turn your suffering into hunger, turn your hunger into fire, turn your fire into fuel… and use that fuel to burn bright, burn far brighter than those who have not suffered ! They will grow to envy your vitality, they envy your struggle, the flames and hunger that can drive you… Because your suffering bears a flame that they shall never know.

OK, that’s enough of that shit, it gets boring very quick, I ain’t Sigmund-Jung-Fuckin-Marxio- Jabber the Jebus for fucks sake !

Oh yeh, and this ain’t any new age hippy shit you numb skull… I have travelled across light years and millennia, through every known and unknown dimension, every galaxy in the universe, every universe in the multiverse… and every shit hole in the sewer… to learn what I have learned. When I last saw you I fell into an unfathomable darkness from which I did not think I could return, but this darkness opened up a chasm in the fabric of space-time
through which a multitude of entities passed and grew to culminate in this current being, that is how I have come to be this, this that is known as RAW !!!

But you’re a fuckin rat

The being ingested large amounts of the biochemical technology that was left here to accelerate the evolution of your species, this left it open for possession, more so than any other being in that space time position, so we took it

Why not a human ?

Hahahahahaaaa, don’t torture me with your idiocy, you lot are far too gone

Are you real ?

I’m as real as the fear in your eyes.

That doesn’t help

Are you real, like that guitar or that door handle there ??

I’m fuckin real alright

If someone else was to come into this room right now would they see you or would they see me talking to myself ?

There’s no-one coming

Ho do you know ?

I just do, anyway, shut the fuck up…

The future success of your species depends on its abandonment of primitive, fear based thought systems adopted from your animal origins, you must transcend basic animal-human existence or perish. Genetic development is only possible through self re-progamming of the human biocomputer. You must learn how to gain control of your own brain.

EH ?

Baaaaaarp, schluuurp, pllllllllll, schwwuuuuuuuuuluupp
A massive slop of half digested yellow gunge was barfed all over the floor. Your cheesy wotsits are off, you should sort your kitchen out, it’s a fuckin mess…



You think you are conscious, but you walk the world asleep, dominated by unconscious forces and superstitions inherited from primitive belief systems… be it anything from fundamental religious denominations to scientific materialism, any and all others, they are all Articles of Faith, BAD
FAITH. You must work to awaken, become conscious entities, learn to gain control of your own mind, this is what must be done.

Really ?


I don’t even know if you’re real… lets assume you are, what is it that you want me to do ?? Other than than gain control of my own mind as you so pretentiously put it…

I shall explain things in a way that I think you will understand… The Multiverse is made up of what your species refers to as information. Exposure and absorption of more information means greater awakening of sentient entities, which you just about qualify as being. Some individuals and small
esoteric groups of humans on this planet have already begun to learn these things but your job is to take the messages out to the mass population, commit your life to teaching the world how to awaken from its slumber, and evolve into what it can be destined to be. Your species must find a cohesion, encompassing every individual as being a holarchical constituent part in a larger, transcendental whole, all must find and be secure in their position which contributes to the larger whole, a system encompassing yet transcending collectivism and individualism must be achieved.

You must learn and teach the way in which this can be achieved.

You use too many big words…Anyway, what do you mean… like some kind of prophet ?

NO YOU CRETIN !!! Only an imbecile thinks they are a prophet… see yourself as more of a conduit, a passage through which information can flow,,, almost like a… A Cosmic Rent Boy,,, hahahahahahahaa yeh, A Cosmic Rent Boy,,, here, here’s a fiver hahahahahaa

‘Cosmic rent boy’ ? Fuck you ratboy

Silence rentboy


You must pass the things I teach you onto the world, or all may be lost

And how the fuck am I supposed to do that ? I can’t even get anyone to listen to me talk when I chat shit down the pub

You can start by using music, this can be a powerful means

If I could get anyone to listen to my music do you really think I’d be here talking to you ?

Things will change, circumstances are about to swing in your favour, and you must strive to usethem to pass the information I give you into the human realm.

Yeh good luck with that

It’s likely that you’ll have to initiate the annihilation of 60–70 percent of the earth’s human population too as they will not accept these radically progressive ideas, but we can leave that for the time being.

EH ?? Are you fuckin nuts ?

Your interpretation of sanity is of no relevance to me

Whatever Roland Ratboy, Zeig Heil… you, who could be nothing more than a figment of my imagination are asking me to instigate the systematic destruction of billions of people around the world, I must be losing my fuckin mind… even if it turns out you are real,,, it’s just plain
fuckin wrong

Ugh oh… wrong, how boring… your morality is for the the feeble minded, you must develop beyond this, or perish… and take the future with you. You must learn to integrate your shadow, the dark side, without it you are weak, only a fragment of your potential self,,, your so called ‘evil’ is part of
what you are, to deny it is to deny a large part of your being. Accept it and prosper or deny it, and live and die in darkness.

Fuck off


If you cannot begin to accept the realities I aim to pass on to you then the future of your species, and many after it, are lost

I ain’t doin it, you’re fuckin nuts

OK, I feared it might come to this, I guess I’ll have to do it myself, through you

Through me ? What the fuck you on about ?

Open wide

EH ?

It leaps across the room at a speed too fast to react to, straight into my mouth, I feel the rancid taste and smell of faeces, urine, sanitary towels (luxurious ones) and rotting rodent fur. All manner of horrors pass through my mind in an instant, my mouth is stretched to the limit, the jaw dislocates, excruciating pain, all I can see is a huge rat’s arse and tail squirming into my mouth, it crawls, scrapes and wiggles down until there’s nothing left. The lights go out.

Black, Empty, Nothingness.

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