The Cult of Self-Care
Schmaltz | Home-cooked meals | Orin Swift
Music
The Schmaltzy Love Song
For every child, there are songs our parents love which drive us up the wall.
To us as kids, their taste is too dated, too hokey, too dull and far too embarrassing.
My mother, despite being a strong-willed, independent realist, was also a romantic.
She’d been married twice before meeting my father, whom she married just five weeks later. There was no proposal; they just knew.
Though often a wise-cracking cynic, her taste in music reflected this rosy-eyed idealism.
There’s a song she loved that I used to hate for all of the reasons kids run screaming from their parent’s albums. It was bouncy, hokey and worst of all, Coke or Pepsi used it in their ads. If you ever want to ruin a song, use it in a commercial.
I remember the song as an annoying reach of ditzy consumerism, but I heard it the other day while grocery shopping and was surprised when it brought tears to my eyes.
You are still the one that makes me shout
Still the one that I dream about
We’re still having fun, and you’re still the one
As the years went by, the love my parents had for each other, though challenged as all marriages are, never faltered.
She used to well up when this song played on the radio or in the grocery store, while all it conjured up for me was soda. Then years went by, I did some growing up, and I get it now.
Still the One by Orleans is one of those simple, feel-good songs you judge your parents for liking and then one day, years later, you catch yourself singing along.
Now… I like it. It stirs up the romantic in me. It reminds me to have hope in love. It brings to mind my mother’s cheeky grin that always shone in her eyes.
Music has a way of reincarnating loved ones. They live again in the melody. Still the One will always bring her back to me, smiling.
And that kid who chided her for loving such corny music — can stuff it.
Yoga
Culinary Care
I have a confession to make: I’m dreadful at cooking for myself.
That’s not to say I’m a bad cook, I have a few delectable dishes I’ve learned along the way — I’m just terrible at that kind of self love and avoid it like a pro.
If you’re like me or, like the guy I met last night, and don’t even have a kitchen, then you often eat out.
My early memories of dining consisted mostly of Chef Boyardee and Kraft macaroni and cheese. When you grow up with full-time-employed parents, the ease of microwavable meals often trumps home-made cooking. It was a treat when my Dad made spaghetti bolognese, steak or steamed broccoli, but everyone in the house lived on different eating schedules, so rarely did we sit down for a meal all together.
My entire college cuisine was made up of Cup-o-soup and lunchable turkey slices dipped in mayo so suffice it to say, food was not a stimulating sensory experience, it was pure necessity.
It wasn’t until I fell in love that cooking became something more.
I think it’s true that you learn to love yourself more fully when someone loves you, and food is a way to express it.
Not only did I learn to enjoy cooking, but I became decent at it. It was quickly obvious to me that cooking can be a love language. One I didn’t speak, but I could learn.
Cooking is an act of love. Whether for a whole family or self love when cooking for one.
On my own, I’m not very good at this kind of self love. I cook for myself embarrassingly sparsely. Maybe several times a year…
So when I went grocery shopping with the intention of this rarest form of self-care, and I found myself standing in front of the freshly misted produce — with one of my mother’s favorite sappy love songs playing throughout the store, well — I became a little misty myself.
Sometimes the simple act of preparing a home-cooked meal for yourself can be the best kind of self-care.
Yoga Challenge: This week, your challenge is to prepare a home-cooked meal
Food can be extremely transformative: bringing you into the present moment with a quietly sensuous activity
- Go to your favorite grocery store or even better: farmers market
- Take your time perusing the freshest vegetables, fruit, herbs. Smell them, feel them, taste them and choose the ones that call to you
- From those ingredients, decide how’s best to cook them. Maybe you get inspiration from a favorite cook book or search the internet. Maybe you’re the type of person who can improvise as you go (lucky!)
- Put on your favorite music, maybe sip some good wine and dive in!
- Let the experience be a little adventure in your kitchen
- Have fun with all the trial and error and successes. Keep Julia Child’s advise in mind: “The only real stumbling block is fear of failure. In cooking you’ve got to have a what-the-hell attitude.”
- Set a simple, clean and aesthetically pleasing table (whatever is beautiful to you)
- When all is ready, take the time to savor the meal you’ve prepared
- Consider all that went into it: the seeds, the sunlight, soil, weather, farmers, drivers, salespeople, you. So much had to be just so in order to get to your table, your fork, to your lips
- Maybe you even pair a nice wine with the dish
- Enjoy your meal with gratitude for all of those contributing factors
Cooking is a form of self love. I welled up in the grocery store because even the act of shopping for the ingredients jabbed the buried vulnerability in me: making it painfully obvious that this is an area in my life where I need work.
How can you be more self-nurturing in your life? What area could you improve upon with a realistic commitment?
I’ve recommitted to cooking for myself once a month. Yes, it’s a pitiful amount, but once a week is ridiculously unrealistic! I’m starting small and building from there…
And maybe dessert should be a necessary addition to this home-cooked meal, because as David Mamet says, “We must have a pie. Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie.”
Booze
Ois for Orin Swift
The Cult of Nobody
Ever tempted to join a cult but wanted to bypass all of the crazy?
There’s one you can join with wine for Kool-Aid and a mysterious leader that no one has ever seen…
Orin Swift is the #1 cult wine of California.
Who is Orin Swift, you may ask? Well… nobody.
Orin Swift is — a brand, concocted by winemaker Dave Phinney (a combo of his dad’s middle name and mother’s maiden name). Most people who are into Orin Swift wines don’t actually know this, so if you want to show off to your friends/alienate yourself at parties, you should definitely drop this captivating bit of trivia.
Dave Phinney is famous in the cult world of boutique winemaking. He’s known for opulent blends with eye-catching, often darkly humorous labels, with names such as:
Blank Stare Sauvignon Blanc
A tropical Sauv Blanc with some time in French oak, giving it balanced richness and minerality
Machete Red Blend
A decadent blend of Petite Sirah, Syrah and Grenache with notes of blackberries, herbs and barbecued meat
Phinney’s first job was with the esteemed Robert Mondavi Winery, working the night shift harvest in 1997 before starting Orin Swift, right up the road from Mondavi the following year. (Wine-making ain’t easy and Phinney realized if he was going to work as hard as all that, he may as well go into business for himself.)
He’s most famous for The Prisoner, which is in such high demand within his following that you can find it most anywhere for purchase. If you like sumptuously full-bodied yet fruity wines with a bit of an earthy twist, this may be your go-to.
As well as his California wines with grapes sourced from Napa, Phinney is also well known for his ‘Locations’ wine made with grapes sourced internationally.
For example:
E: from Espania (Spain)
Garnacha (Grenache), Carignan, Tempranillo grapes sourced from Rioja, Priorat and Ribera del Duero. Notes of spice, smoke and boysenberry.
The “Locations” line expresses international terroir (sense of place) and often offers a lighter-medium bodied wine. Better for lighter dishes and warmer weather.
As for the California Orin Swift: the labels themselves make for a fun ice breaker, and the wine is a mostly affordable favorite among those who prefer intense, opulent bottles of fruity wine.
Most bottles are between $30–$55, though they range from $22-$130.
If you were ever tempted to join a cult following, this one’s as good as any, and unlike the Kool-Aid — it won’t kill you. (As long as you drink responsibly)
NEXT WEEK:
Pis for…
