Was That Brave or Stupid?
Singing in Public | Shark-infested Waters | Tequila
Music
Public Singing
Singing in public ranks as one of the scariest endeavors imaginable for many people. It’s a far cry from the safety of the shower, even with drunk karaoke.
Singing in a group isn’t quite so bad. It’s when you’re up there all by your lonesome: just you, the spotlight and an expectant crowd that things get real.
The first time I sang a solo in public was in the 1st grade, in front of the entire school.
For as long as I could remember, which constituted half of my life (about three years at that point), my favorite musical was Bye Bye Birdie. I watched that film on repeat so many times, I still know it verbatim.
Ann-Margret donning her cute yellow dress, singing the title song in front of a bright blue screen which accentuated her fiery hair…
She was my hero. Sassy. Sweet. Brave. Vocal. She inspired the little brave belter in me, and I sang at the top of my lungs ever since.
Bye Bye Birdie: the musical that helped me find my voice
Unfortunately, singing alone in the living room, or even while romping through playgrounds was not the same as singing alone on stage in front of the entire elementary school.
I’ve been nervous many times in my life, but the first time you experience nerves on that heart-pounding-its-way-through-your-skull kind of level is the worst.
Mouth dry. Stomach full of angry butterflies with glass for wings. My muscles took on a mind of their own and seemed to be trying to shake their way from out of my skin.
Trembling with fright is no exaggeration. As my little 1st grade body did its best to sing in public for the first time, my voice shook so much it sounded like I was in an isolated earthquake.
Have you ever had that nightmare where you’re standing in front of your school naked, and everyone is laughing at you? Minus the nudity, this was that nightmare come true. Still, my vibrating voice and rigid body somehow made it through the whole song, even with the laughter coming from the kids in the crowd. At the very end, I hurried off stage into my mother’s waiting arms, mortified and bawling.
What could have been a life-long scar, preventing me from ever singing in public again, became a moment of celebrated bravery. My mother praised my courage — my ability to make it through the whole song, even with all the shaking.
It was my first lesson in facing fear and working through it, no matter how much it shakes you.
Was that Brave or Stupid? When you’re six years old, fear is a very real, highly deadly monster capable of disintegrating you into black oblivion. That first encounter with fear is the hardest, because you have no proof yet that you will actually survive.
For all the children risking life and limb to perform their first fearful act in front of their peers: they definitely rank as Brave.
Yoga
Shark-infested Waters
When my friend and I rented snorkel gear from Snorkel Bob, he recommended some prime coral reefs to check out, and at the bottom of the Maui map, south of Makena, in big red letters, he wrote NO!!!
Under no circumstances were we to go snorkeling in these waters. Why? They are the breeding ground for reef sharks (harmless) which attract the hunting tiger sharks (very much not harmless). There is a vast drop off beyond the reef in this area, which is the prime spot for prowling water tigers.
If you don’t know, tiger sharks are counted among the three most deadly sharks in the world, along with great whites and bull sharks. There are more species in the open ocean which pose a threat, but most of us (thankfully) never encounter them. However, the tiger, great white and bull prefer hunting in the shallows, especially along deep drop-offs.
Suffice it to say, AVOID these areas.
And yet… a local told us that the site was also perfect for spotting dolphins first thing in the morning.
So, of course we set off first thing the next day, and sure enough: in the distance, we could see a pod of dolphins near a tour boat, with a group of snorkelers swimming nearby.
There’s a secluded cove here, with a reef we decided to check out since the other snorkelers seemed fine. (We were tipping close to the stupid category at this point.)
A local named Linda chimed in as she saw us ready with our gear: “It rained last night and the waters are murky so you won’t be able to see any fish. The only point in getting in the water today is to see the dolphins.”
I looked out to the open ocean where the dolphins played. It was far. And land to sea distance is deceptive, so it was further than it looked. Still, when would we get this chance again? And our new friend Linda did it every day for the last ten years so… we tagged along.
The waters were indeed murky. I could see my hand in front of my face and that was it. I had to keep looking above the surface to see Linda, who wasn’t far away but completely hidden in the cloudy water.
As we swam out to sea, an inkling of fear swept through me: we were doing exactly what Snorkel Bob said not to do. The area of the map with a big red NO!!! written on it was precisely where we were swimming.
At this point we were hand in hand with brave and stupid, veering more toward the latter.
We passed by another snorkeler whom Linda knew and treaded the shark-infested waters while idly chatting.
“Did you see the dolphins?”
“Yeah, they hung out with me for about 20 minutes, but I’ve got somewhere I need to be and the waters are sharky.”
My friend and I exchanged nervous glances from within our masks.
But we kept going.
For 30 minutes, we swam out to sea. Let me repeat that: we were a THIRTY MINUTE swim into the open ocean.
Side note: everyone has a fear growing up. Spiders, snakes, the dark. I saw JAWS at an inappropriately young age and was so afraid of sharks, I couldn’t go into the deep end of a swimming pool.
Somehow though, and maybe this was the stupid kicking in, I wasn’t afraid. Sure, a flash of fear swept through me when I considered the advice of Snorkel Bob, but otherwise, I just got on with it.
Humans have an amazing ability to accomplish things with unfaltering determination.
On this account, our bravery paid off.
A cacophony of sound was my first encounter. Whirrs, swirling, elongated high-pitched trills filled my ears and a lone dolphin took the lead, swimming directly at me. No fear in me at all. Just pure elation. He veered at the very last moment and in a slow-motion stretch of time, we stared eye to eye.
I spun round and raced sideways and sang and laughed along with their joyful voices.
At least fifty of them (and that’s just the ones I could see in the murky waters) swam directly beneath and leapt from the water around us.
Spinner dolphins are so named for their unique, acrobatic jumps: when they leap from the water, they spin like a top before crashing back down again.
For a total of half an hour, we played with the dolphins, before setting off on the thirty minute swim back into shore.
It was the bravest/stupidist thing I suppose I’ve ever done. And it will remain one of the best.
Yoga Challenge: This week, your challenge is to be brave
Choose an area in your life you’d like to infuse with bravery
Maybe it’s dancing more often, singing with more abandon, loving more openly…
- Sit comfortably and close your eyes
- Hold this thing you want to infuse with bravery in your mind and heart
- Take a slow courageous breath, filling this area in your life with bravery and releasing that intention into the world in a long, even exhale
- Take a joyful breath, infusing this area in your life with joy, and release it as you exhale
- Take an excited breath, filling up with anticipation around this thing you want to change, and exhale that excitement into your life, long and slow
- When next you’re given the opportunity to face this area of your life, recall these feelings of joy, excitement and courage. Feel into how they infuse this thing with new vitality
- How do these feelings enhance your bravery? Has the fear around this thing lessened and been replaced with more joy and excitement? Is the task easier to do? More fun?
It’s amazing, the human capacity to simply put our minds to something and accomplish it. When a choice becomes crystal clear, fear dismantles and animalistically, we become immersed in the present moment of pure action.
Brave. Stupid. An unforgettable experience I’d have never had if I hadn’t been equal parts both.
Booze
Mis for Margaritas
Tequila: Friend or Foe
Tequila is an odd animal. It affects everyone a bit differently. Some people become irrational rage-monsters, others end up waking up next to a stranger, for me: I get happy. So aside from wine, margaritas are my go-to alcoholic beverage.
Now there is much controversy over the perfect margarita and I’m here to settle that squabble right now.
Sweet & Sour mix is a sickly waste of money and space in the glass
Bold statement, it’s true. Fight me.
Sweet & Sour is how a bar cheaps out on the booze. The best margarita doesn’t need accessories. It comes down to three simple ingredients:
- Limes
- Triple Sec
- Tequila
The ratio is important: too much lime and it’s face-puckeringly sour. Too much Triple Sec and you’ve veered into the sickly sweet realm and might as well toss some Sweet & Sour in and ruin everything!
(Rant over)
The rule of thumb ratio is:
3 parts Tequila, 1.5 parts Triple Sec, 2 parts lime juice (depending on how sour you like it)
Pour it all into a shaker, have yourself a little solo dance party and pour into a salt-rimmed glass with ice. Done! You’re welcome.
No sickly sweetness, no fancy blending, just pure tequila-infused goodness.
Warning: limit your consumption or you’ll cross beyond brave into stupid and probably become this guy: (and no one wants to be the passout-panda)
NEXT WEEK:
Nis for…
