Domestic Violence & What the Quran Actually Says About PATRIARCHY

But those [wives] from whom you fear arrogance — [first] advise them; [then if they persist], forsake them in bed; and [finally], strike them. But if they obey you [once more], seek no means against them. Indeed, Allah is ever Exalted and Grand. -Quran 4:34
The above is a line from the 4th chapter of the 34th verse of the Holy Quran. There’s more to the verse but this line is all that’s relevant to my point so it’s all we’ll be focusing on for now.
The translation of the word strike is what’s generally debated. Critics of Islam will say that this gives Muslim men the green light to beat their wives for disobedience. However, many Muslims, including prominent scholars, will say that the verse doesn’t call for a beating or a hard strike but just a light tap to express disapproval. Let’s go with this for a second. Actually, let’s take it a step further and agree with those that say there’s no actual physical contact and that the verse is calling for nothing more than a stern gaze.
If we accept this idea, it does absolve the Quran of allowing any violence against women but we are still left with one huge problem in terms of gender equality. The Quran still gives men the right to discipline their wives. When someone is granted the ability to take disciplinary action against another, they are automatically put in a position of authority.
Muslim Rebuttal: “That verse only gives the husband authority in certain situations. It doesn’t mean that the husband has full authority over his wife and can order her around at his whim.”
Does it really matter? If a system says that men, by right of what has been granted to them simply for being men, have authority over their wives in matters that may never even occur, doesn’t that system imply that men are inherently smarter in these matters?
If the Quran grants men the ability to discipline their wives in any way, shape, or form, is that not characteristic of patriarchy?
Muslim Rebuttal: “But it’s obvious that men and women are different. Nobody can dispute that.”
Men tend to be larger and stronger than women. Women give birth to, and nurse children. That’s pretty much it. Beyond that, a man can do the same thing a ‘wife’ can (be a homemaker). And we already understand that beyond birth and breast-feeding, a woman can do the do anything a ‘husband’ can (support the family financially).

Does anything else matter at this point? Is any argument about context or translation even relevant? No. So we can clearly see that even if we accept the most liberal interpretation of this verse, even if we accept every argument that has been made thus far about historical context and translations and what the true meaning of certain words mean, this verse still grants all men an Allah-given authority over any women who he happens to be married to.
I’m sorry to disappoint Muslim feminists but there seems to be no way out of this one… but I’m still open to hearing any counterpoint that anyone may have.
Please leave your rebuttals in the comments or send them to MuslimRebuttals1@gmail.com if you prefer to remain anonymous. If the rebuttal is sound, logical, and free of signs of cognitive dissonance, and most importantly,specific, it will be added to this post.
