When is it time to say enough to bad influences?! And what to do afterwards..
Resistance to change. Why do we have it even when it is so obvious that the change is necessary?
Every human being had this problem. Some of the examples are: Unhealthy relationship, Violent relationship, a friend that keeps hurting you, a friend that all of a sudden starts acting like a big shot, a friend that is resisting your change for the good.
This does terrible things to you and your brain.
You can’t think clearly because their negative reality is stronger and it takes you a lot of time in thinking about the situation.
You feel paralyzed and alone, and that’s not a good place to be.
You get stressed out since you are powerless and emotional. This affects your whole body, and thus begins the negative cycle where it all goes downhill.
What to do?!
First thing you want to do is to try to talk to the person that is resisting your change. You should be patient and have constructive conversation. Remember this: In order to change a fundamental behavior, such is resistance to change, you have to put in 18 months of corrective action in order to achieve it. So be patient with yourself and the other person.
But, when you see that the person is totally deaf to all your tries to communicate it is time to be rough.
The thing that gave me the best results in the last three situations I mentioned is this. Ignoring with intention of cutting all communication with the person and disciplined action in line with my mission and purpose in life.
Even when it is hard to say no to a “great” friend, you have to do it. It will do you good in future. No to meaningless chat, no to doing them a favor, no to getting a cup of coffee with them.
When they realize this, and they won’t for a long time because they are so self-centered, you have to be aware that they will make a victim out of themselves. Going around and talking that you are unfair will be a daily choir for them. — DON’T WORRY ABOUT THIS. Life has a great way to fulfill the voids. If you get rid of a bad friend, you will likely find three much better ones. Think about this for a moment… It is like this in every walk of life! Has it ever happened to you?
Become totally numb to them, as if they are some acquaintance who you say hello to with a smile. And that’s it. Now you have to go do what you do best and never look back.
Do what you love the most, do the thing that they resisted, go out meet like-minded people(believe me there is a lot of them), do what your heart and soul tell you to do!
You have to take a lot of crap from people, and fail to do this a lot of time in order to say to yourself: “OK, I’m done with this.” That is the part of the process, be aware of it! Don’t judge yourself too harshly, nothing good can come out of it!