Learn to Make a Change, Not Learn to Be Better

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Between all these medical books and organizations & committee’s obligations, I sometimes sit back. I sit back and think.

“What have I been doing?”

I remember someone important telling me, “If you see your life’s calendar, in which you may not know when it will end, but you will see that you don’t have that plenty of time in your life. Right now, all you know is studying and being active extracurricularly. But, next time, you may be surprised that you already have to move to Bandung to continue your co-ass life, graduate, be a doctor. You may not realize how fast the time goes by.”

There was once in my life, weeks or even days ago, I want to be a better me. I want to be a better person than I was. But I always ended up looking at other people, envying them, trying to be better than them. I often ended up standing with lots of useless pride. I was fragile at the same time. I was afraid if everyone was looking at me differently. I was afraid they’d dislike me. I was full of fears of being disliked and brought down.

Then I realize, all I have to do is simply be the best of me.

I somehow managed to stand on a different shoe. I tried to look at the world in a different point of view. Trying hard to find the purpose of my life.

What’s my purpose? Is it simply for studying until graduating from medical school? Getting married to the man I’ve dreamed of? Having kids and building a beautiful home with lots of love? Studying in the university I’ve dreamed of since a kid?

I guess, no. If life was that simple, if my purpose was that simple, then what are these for? What is this hardship for? The struggles? The sadness when you fail to understand a thing? There must be another thing. Only, God is so good that He lets us choose & decide for ourselves.

Yes, I guess I’ve found it. I want to use all the gifts God’s given me to make a change, both locally and globally. In order to do that, I have to learn.

I want to read those medical books, understand the concepts of it, not because I want to get a high GPA, but because I want to save lives.
I want to learn how to make a good video, good music, take a good photo, not because I want to make myself look like a pro in front of my friends, but because I want to inspire people with it.
I want to learn how to communicate, speak well in public, not because I want to impress people, but because I want to be able to communicate to my future patients so I can make them feel comfortable with me.

It’s a motivation to myself. I write this so everytime I want to give up, everytime I want to quit, I remember my first purpose here. I learn not to be a better person who can impress others, I learn to make a change.

Because big changes require more than a simple effort. It requires more than love and a sincere heart. It requires knowledges.
Knowledge is power. — they say

So, how about you? Have you decided yet?