How to Improve Your Tonality to Quickly Build Rapport
Your tonality has the ability to command attention and inspire your audience, or bore and put them to sleep.
While you can’t change your voice (unless you’re a damn good impersonator), you can change the way you articulate and pronounce phrases, which will improve tonality and help in sales and life.
This article aims to provide an analysis of what actually comprises tonality, and how you can adjust yours to improve your sales calls and meetings.
Why is tonality so important?
Tonality is a crucial aspect of communication as it portrays a person’s character through a non-visual medium. Using tonality correctly allows you to build rapport quickly; you appear confident, high value, intelligent and an expert in your field, which attracts attention and allows you to influence others.
Developing rapport is the foundation of effective communication and relationship building.
Aldo Civico, who holds a Ph.D. and worked in conflict resolution for 25 years, stated, “…without rapport there is no one interested in the message you want to communicate or the service you want to provide. Without rapport, there is little chance to influence or to persuade others.”
Tonality transcends the specific words you say. It’s an emotional signal that frames the logical side of a conversation. This is important as emotional cues register faster than logical ones, and decisions are actually based on emotion, according to this article.
As an extreme example, think about how you communicate with a baby or an animal. I’m willing to bet you speak in a funny high pitch voice. It doesn’t even matter what you say; if your tonality is positive and happy, the baby will often laugh and the animal will usually come to you for a pat.
Exact words spoken aren’t likely to be understood by the animal (apart from trained words like sit, stay, etc.). But ask the dog how his day was, and he’s not likely to respond. If you yell at the dog, your tonality will probably upset him, and he’ll probably react accordingly (sheepish, or even aggressive back).
They may forget what you said — but they will never forget how you made them feel.
— Carl W. Buehner
I believe this sums up tonality very well.
Tonality Analogy
Comparing tonality to music, how do you feel when ACDC or Bon Jovi come on the radio? While their lyrics are very powerful, ignore them for the moment. What emotions do the songs evoke? The pitch, volume, pace and articulation all contribute to a certain “feeling” that aims to excite the listener.
Contrast this with the music played at a massage parlour (the legal ones): they want to you to be in a relaxed state, so they play slow, soothing music.
Both have their benefits and their place.
Apply this to sales.
Different Aspects of Tonality
Tonality is comprised of multiple parts. Each of these can be altered depending on the situation to maximise the desired response.
For example, being loud and boisterous to someone who is more shy and reserved is unlikely to feel comfortable around you, and hence you’ll struggle to build rapport.
There is no one “perfect” tonality for every situation and person, but rather a framework that you can tailor to particular personality types.
Pitch
The pitch of your voice is how high or low your voice is. Women naturally have a higher pitch voice than males, and lower pitches are actually perceived as more masculine. No matter your natural pitch, people make the mistake of not varying their pitch when talking, which is perceived as “boring.”
A “flat” pitch is called a “monotone” and is often the fastest way to lose rapport with someone, which means they’ll disengage from the communication.
We’ve all been forced to listen to a teacher, lecturer or guest speaker that talks with a monotone. I bet you struggled to stay engaged with someone like this and started day-dreaming or mucking around.
Instead, to maximise attention, the best speakers vary their pitch with inflections depending on the particular part of a sentence. This also conveys enthusiasm and excitement no matter the topic being talked about.
For example, the pitch will rise for keywords in the sentence, so they stand out. This is akin to italicising particular words in writing so the reader understands the importance.
Here’s the important keywords when pitching my software:
“The reason I’m calling is because we help salespeople improve their confidence on the phone, and I thought you might be interested too.”
Interesting tonality also includes raising and lowering pitch at the correct times. When you ask a question, your tonality should inflect upwards progressively. This allows people to subconsciously understand that it is in fact a genuine question, and invites an answer. Alternatively, a sarcastic or rhetoric question often has a lower pitch.
When making a statement or assertion, the most powerful tonality is to inflect downwards progressively. This shows you’re confident in your statement because you say it with conviction, rather than seeking approval for it.
An example of poor tonality is “teenage-white-girl-speak” where their pitch actually confuses the listener. They’ll make a statement but inflect upwards as if it is a question. This short Family Guy video sums it up:
Consequently, it is difficult for someone who speaks like this to build rapport. They’re often labeled “unintelligent” and hence, low value. Luckily, this is easily corrected.
Volume
The volume of your voice will be perceived on a scale from shy (quiet) to aggressive (loud). Similar to pitch, having a singular volume is not effective, and can be counter-intuitive for building rapport and relationships.
If you’re too quiet, people may struggle to hear you, and others may even speak over you, which isn’t good for asserting yourself socially. A quiet voice is often associated with calmness, intimacy or secrecy, but lacks the ability to command attention and enthusiasm.
Conversely, if you’re constantly too loud, you appear volatile, arrogant, confrontational and maybe even crazy. While you’ll attract attention, you will struggle to build trust and influence people’s opinions because it’s often in a negative light. People are more attracted to internal confidence rather than external arrogance. This is achieved when you’re emotionally unaffected by shit tests and objections, and possess an abundance mentality. Being constantly loud is counter-intuitive to this.
Using a variation in volume for different phrases and words can be very useful at both commanding attention, conveying enthusiasm AND ensuring calmness and comfort in the prospect.
“Hey John! This is Michael from SalesWolf, did I catch you at a bad time?”
I start slightly louder with “Hey John!” to command attention, then soften the volume with “This is Michael from SalesWolf,” once I’ve got his attention in order to build trust (using a downward inflection). Finally, while still calm, my pitch inflects upwards as I ask the question.
This shows I’m confident and clear in my intentions, not seeking approval from the prospect. The goal is to be in control of the communication.
Volume also comes in handy when talking about the benefits of your product/service, as you want to build up the excitement. However, as you transition to closing the meeting or sale, your volume should lower to calm the situation down to a more intimate level. So the prospect has gone from excitement of the solution, to being calm and comfortable about the next steps.
Pace
The pace at which you speak contributes to how well someone understands you, and hence, your persuasiveness.
According to Lisa Marshall, a communication coach to leading brands, stated that multiple studies found faster rates of speech are associated with higher perceptions of competence, extraversion, and social attractiveness. Similarly, listeners rated competence and social attractiveness higher for speakers whose perceived and actual speaking rates were similar to their own, compared to those whose rates they believed to differ from their own.
The National Centre for Voice and Speech states that the average person in the US speaks at a pace of roughly 150 words per minute, which is 2.5 words per second, and the recommended speed for audio books.
Now, if you talk too fast, it can sound rushed and become stressful to listen to, as you may appear nervous or agitated. The brain will be unable to process all the words, meaning your message will not properly received. This will make it hard to build rapport and influence people.
Alternatively, speaking slowly will mean your statements have a greater chance of being understood, but will annoy your audience as they want the information faster. Like low pitch, speaking slowly will bore the listeners and they may disengage from you.
Lisa writes, “We speak more rapidly if we are in a hurry, or saying something urgent, or trying not to be interrupted in a conversation. For many people, nervousness or excitement will also increase the rate of speech. Conversely, we tend to speak more slowly when we are tired or bored.”
Articulation
Articulation is the ability to physically move the tongue, lips, teeth and jaw to construct speech sounds, which then contribute to words and sentences.
The greater one’s articulacy, the easier it is for them to convey basic needs and desires, as well as expressing views in complex conversations. This contributes to building rapport and relationships.
Unclear speech can negatively impact social interactions as listeners struggle to comprehend what you’re saying. The more difficult it is for someone to understand, the greater the chance of misinterpretation.
The most efficient form of communication is when there is zero ambiguity between participants. This is known as “all being on the same page,” and is achieved fastest when people can clearly articulate their objectives and opinions.
Additionally, the user of “filler” words such as “um, ah, like” and “you know” weaken your credibility. If you continually use these words, the audience may perceive this as a lack of preparation, lack of knowledge, or lack of passion. Either way, it reduces your ability to establish rapport and influence the listeners.
Improving Tonality
Improving tonality is surprisingly easy, so don’t feel like it’s a daunting task.
First, create scripts instead of winging it during your sales calls. Imagine yourself as an actor: they learn the script and then bring it to life by delivering it in the most effective way possible. They inject charisma into the words, but you also see their expressions visually.
Without the visual aid while speaking on the phone, tonality is even more important to engage prospects and clients.
Next, separate questions from statements so you can adjust your pitch for both.
Highlight keywords that are most important in your script. Your pitch will elevate on these words.
Check your volume — do people constantly ask you to speak up or repeat what you said? Or do they tell you to “use your inside voice?” Experiment with varying volume at parts where you need to capture attention and also instil trust.
The best way to improve is to record yourself so you can listen objectively. This will also allow you to manually count how many words you’re saying per minute, and adjust accordingly. Speed up if you’re saying less than 120 words per minute, and slow down if you’re spittin’ words like Eminem, or more than 180 words per minute.
Finally, critique yourself on your articulation. Are you pronouncing words clearly and eloquently? Another great thing about having scripts and objection responses is that you can learn them, meaning you’ll be much more confident in the words you speak. This will reduce your need to say “um, ah, like, etc.” because you’ll be less nervous and won’t be caught off guard.
In turn, this will increase your credibility and ability to build rapport quickly.
I’ll leave you with a video on tonality. I’ve found that Leo articulates much clearer than the real Wolf of Wall Street, based on interviews.
Notice how he varies pitch, volume, and pace to very easily establish rapport and influence the prospect. He starts strong, raises his pitch when he asks questions, and emphasises the keywords, which builds up an excitement.
But then he changes tact. He reduces his volume, pitch and pace as he explains the price of the share to draw the prospect in and create comfort and trust, before increase tonality as he discloses the potential monetary gains!
I realise this is exaggerated, but it’s a fantastic way to learn. Enjoy the best example of tonality (in my opinion).
Originally published at SalesWolf.io.
