In Pursuit of Happiness

Arnold Mwijuka
Sep 2, 2018 · 5 min read

The Problem

Our society today has gravitated towards the false pretences behind social media and the overshadowing consumer culture. The Instagram photos of your favorite celebrity or the new IPhone you so desperately want to have; as alluring as all these things may be, our own lives have almost become apparent to ourselves. We have no choice but to subject our minds to thoughts of how unfulfilling our time on earth could have been spent. We feel as though each minute we exist, is a waste of precious time.

“She just got a new Ferrari for her birthday.”, “He just flew to Paris for the weekend.”, “There is nothing exciting about my life.”

Many of us have become overly stressed, self loathing and irrationally fixated about our depressing our lives can be. The instant you feel shy, anxious, or even sad, you get to see so many pictures and listen to so many people describing their excitement and joy, having the time of their life. Terribly we can’t stop asking ourselves if there is something wrong about us. We feel sad about feeling sad. We feel angry about being angry and the cycle slowly goes on and on.

The crisis is no longer material, it is existential, spiritual. There is so much that surrounds us that we eventually forget what to really care about. This isn’t some tall-tale. Stress related problems, anxiety disorders, have become just as rampant as the small pox was decades ago, yet we live in a world where technological advances and innovations are but a norm of our existence. Ironically we still joke about “first world problems”

The Reality

Pursuing something only reinforces the fact that you lack exactly that which you want to obtain. The happier you so desperately want to be, the more you remind yourself just how sad and discontent you actually are. The more you desperately want to feel adored and desired, the uglier you will always come to feel on the inside.

Albert Camus, a philosopher said, “You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life.”

This doesn’t mean you should give up on all your dreams and throw away an effort you had to put into something you so badly want to achieve. The pain you pursue which every workout you have in the gym results in all round fitness and energy. The pain of honest confrontation will result in greater trust and respect in relationships.

The desire for a firm gasp of the positive, will, in itself, draw out a negative effect in your life. However the acceptance that comes with the familiarity of the negative, will, in itself, draw out a positive effect in your life.

Suffering inherently is the basis of our survival. It has inspired change and is nature’s preferred detergent. Pain is a part of life. The rich suffer because they are rich. The poor suffer because they are poor. The avoidance of suffering is in itself a form of suffering. Hiding of that which is shameful is a form of shame. This is why acceptance of that which is unpleasant is important.

Happiness is algorithmic. It can be worked for, achieved and earned. At the same time, happiness is unsolvable. Dissatisfaction and unrest is a part of our being. You enjoy the thought of a problem-free life full of happiness and yet problems never cease when you come back to reality. Life is full of problems. The solution to one is almost the creation of another altogether. For not spending enough time with your partner, you choose Wednesday as “Date Night”, but now you will have to think of the expenses, rediscovering the chemistry between the two of you, reminding yourself of the things about each other you have forgotten amidst of all the responsibilities you may both have outside the relationship. Deciding to go to gym because of a poor diet is a great idea, but then you need to put in the early hours to go and sweat for hours before you get to shower and go to work or class in the morning everyday.

The Choice

Happiness is a constant work-in progress. We should not deny the fact that our problems exist and should not adopt a victim mentality by blaming others and situations for our own unhappiness. We constantly try to escape our problems, which could be as simple as eating good food or reaching the next level in a video game or maybe as abstract as developing better relationships or finding a career you will feel good about. The moral righteousness after blaming others for your problems or the excitement of having a million followers on your Snapchat, as I began with, are simply unproductive ways of escaping the reality of your problems. Nobody who is happy has to stand in front of a mirror and actually tell themselves they are happy. Understand your challenges. Solve the problem. Happiness is within and is a part of the struggle.

Emotions never last. An obsession of an over-investment in emotion will always fail. Whatever makes us happy today will make us unhappy tomorrow. A fixation of happiness will result in a never ending pursuit for happiness and in spite of all the effort we will put in, we will still feel inadequate just as before. It’s our nature. This concept to psychologists is called the “Hedonic Treadmill”, the idea that we are working always to change our life situation but end up feeling not very different. This is why our problems are inevitable. The person you will marry is the person you will fight with.

Simply choose your struggle. You are defined by what you are willing to struggle for. Our problems will birth our happiness. Don’t ask for a life without problems. Choose a life with problems whose solutions will build you in the long run. Don’t just give up the climb. The joy of the climb is in itself. The path to happiness is a heap of suffering and pain. The solution to your problem is the active engagement of that negative experience, not the avoidance of it. Do not go down the rabbit hole of endless regret and self guilt. Happiness is in solving life’s challenges.

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