I’ve felt guilty for being pissed at guys for not doing their part, so glad I’m not alone.
I think it’s because in some ways it feels we went from forced into the background to free — but wait, you still have to do the work you used to, and oh by the way you have to be the breadwinner too — and main source of childcare — wait what you want your partner to do more? You want a society and workplace that supports you? You fool, you asked to do all the work right?
Why does it feel that way? Well, while we’ve adjusted girls to the idea that they can do ‘boys stuff’, we haven’t done that for boys. The workplace is still set up like it’s the 50s, and the social order doesn’t value mothers or children. We have a looong way to go, and assuming you’re white and living in a wealthy country, you’re by far the lucky one.