Where have all the answers gone?
As a kid, we got answers all the time. But now, we ask and never receive. Why is adulting so hard?
‘What’s this?’ I pointed to a brown fluffy thingy resting on a leaf in a park.
Mum told me it’s a moth.
‘Sir, why can’t we see the sun at night?’ I raised my hand.
The teacher introduced astronomy.
‘Which college should I choose?’ I asked after getting my exam results.
The school counsellor gave me some advice.
Bam. College. The watershed.
‘Does this theory apply there too?’
‘Which courses can best shape my future career?’
‘Is this the right job for me?’
‘Am I a good partner?’
‘Why are my eyes so dry today?’
No more answers.
Questions and uncertainties, helplessness and loneliness.
Adulting is hard.
No one knows any answer to our questions anymore.
Because our questions are no longer basic.
We know more. We have seen more. We ask about stuff that we can’t simply google and get a full picture. Knowledge in the world is immense and constantly changing.
Because we no longer settle for unilateral answers.
Kids keep on asking why until their curiosity is satisfied. We do not ask questions for a superficial answer. We seek true, practical solutions. We want to actually make things better.
Because no one is responsible to help us.
They might know the answer, or part of the answer, but it is not necessary for them to tell you anything.
And this is because our answers lie within our questions.
We ask questions which we already know the answers to.
‘Does this theory apply there too?’ Try and find out. It might work. It might not work. Or maybe it lies somewhere in-between. Theories are not perfect. Our knowledge is not complete either. Do your best and chill.
‘Which courses can best shape my future career?’ You know best about your own career. You might feel a bit lost now, but at any given time, you are the most knowledgeable person about it. Others have their own aspirations and plans, which you have no idea about, and vice versa.
‘Is this the right job for me?’ If you feel all good about your job and your employer, you won’t be asking this question. You ask this because of good reasons. And those reasons are the answer, or at least part of the answer.
‘Am I a good partner?’ Everybody has their strengths and areas that need to work on. And that’s perfectly fine. The world is designed this way so different people take on different roles, striking an overall balance. Your partner chose you for good reasons. Being in a relationship is about caring for each other and making each other happy. Doubting does not help.
‘Why are my eyes so dry today?’ Your health, like your career, is in your own hands. You are the one taking care of yourself everyday all day. You know the best about your wake up time and bedtime, diet, lifestyle, stress level, etc. You know more about it than the best doctor in the world. And no one else other than you bears this responsibility.
Yes, the world is ever-changing but…
You know the best.
You are responsible.
You have the ability to find out and sort out.
You have the answers.