hey girl,
I love reading your heartfelt words, and appreciate and acknowledge as truth your insights and candor regarding how most cisgender people see us, and especially how we tend to see each other, and why.
Times were very different when I transitioned back in the 80’s. Blanshard’s tenets and principles loomed over everyone here in Canada back then, especially TO. My one and only visit to a trans support group (1986) left me terrified and rather appalled at the complete lack of support (ironically) shown amongst the members. The level of combative competition and tension was so great I could hardly breath, and yes, it’s very true that I looked at them with cisgender eyes and only saw what appeared to be extremely rough caricatures of women, and some not even that (there were no trans men at all). It was horrifying to me in my vulnerable “baby trans” state to think I could be remotely akin to any of them, and I left never to return, and did my transition alone.
Perhaps it’s because I feel that I abandoned my “community” back then and lived without any connection to such for over 30 years that I’m now heavily into volunteering within the LGBTQ+ community, and have been this past year. Perhaps my guilt over dropping my former LGBT friends, removing myself from anything and everything LGBT (especially T), and not even supporting the community by marching in any Pride (until this year) has been weighing on my mind. Forgive me (head bowed); all of you.
Your words brings back all these memories in stark relief, and I’m grateful, for we cannot really know how far we’ve come until we’ve accepted and at some level come to terms with our past.
I now belong to three separate groups within the LGBTQ+ community, and treasure each and every moment I get to spend among them now that I’m able to put aside my cisgender glasses and am able to see these beautiful people for what they were meant to be, not for what society deems them to be.
Thank you for making me realize what it is I’ve actually done; that although the world has changed somewhat (and mostly for the better), it’s my perception that has really changed, and I’m now able to make a true and worthy contribution.
I await further great things from you, sister Kira.
peace