Covert Narcissism and Quiet Borderline are Bullshit

The premise of covert narcissism and quiet borderline as novel takes on two well known personality disorders — Borderline and Narcissistic Personality Disorders — is that of a patient exhibiting the beliefs but not the behaviors of the illness. The person thinks but does not act out the thoughts of someone with the classic diagnosis. On the inside, you think like a narcissist or borderline; on the outside, you behave healthily.

It may help to understand what a personality disorder actually is and is not. The majority of discussion about psychology on the Internet excludes trained therapists. If you were to explore psychology through what Buddhists call ‘beginner’s mind,’ with no assumptions whatsoever, the Internet would tell you that a ‘narcissist’ is an ex, for that is how the term is most commonly used.

Mood disorders are about painful feelings: Doc, I am sad. Doc, I am anxious. The trouble is my feelings. Mood disorders are intrapersonal: within the person. Depression and anxiety are their most common forms. Personality disorders, by contrast, are about everyone else mysteriously having painful feelings. Doc, my spouse is strangely upset with me. Doc, my mistress is unusually edgy, I don’t know why. The trouble is other people. Personality disorders are interpersonal: between two people.

Given that personality disorders are based on pathological relationships, they can only be identified in terms of interactions. If you are not displaying pathological behaviors towards…