Personality Disorders come from Toddlers: Cluster C
As promised, here is a model through which to understand Cluster C personality disorders as forms of regression to toddler personalities.
Cluster C is known as the fearful cluster in which one paradoxically becomes empowered by mastering disempowerment. Shame, control and need are ways to give away one’s power in exchange for a certainty of role. These individuals exchange their self-esteem for a sure role. And they are often fodder for Cluster Bs.
Avoidant Personality Disorder
The core feature to Avoidant Personality Disorder is shame. They avoid closeness with others or opportunities for themselves because they are certain they are unworthy, and life will prove them right with no end of self-fulfilling prophecies. Schopenhauer stated, ‘Life is something that should not have happened.’ An Avoidant might say:
I am something that should not have happened.
Whenever a patient tells me their mother told them they should have been an abortion, I cry. Avoid Personality Disorder is the internalization of that belief: I should not exist. And I feel guilty that I do.