In The Latest Episode Of Phone Commercials

Around this time, smartphone makers dish out every ad they can to match their growing need to be seen. It’s smartphone season. The past weeks, several phones were sent into the world to do their master’s bidding, bringing humanity to bow to the computing overlords. But that doesn’t come easy. See, people need to be treated like kings before they become slaves. One cannot choose to be a slave, you have to know why you should be.

But anyway, it does happen. Manufacturers pour money to make this a reality . And recently, I stumbled upon a group of ads that’ll sway anyone into getting themselves a piece of that technology. Or at least the technology from a company called Samsung. With the Galaxy S7 announced, it’s only a matter of time till the phone tides the market. And with this kind of marketing, you’re sure it’ll land itself inside the hands of millions of well-satisfied customers.

One ad features the music artist commonly known as Lil Wayne — or ‘weezy' as some would call him. The ad shows the musician pouring champagne on his phone because that’s what anyone would do to treat their electronic master with royalty. As the liquid touches the metal entity, if flows over to the sides with no harm to its active state of operation. The act is followed by a collective cheer that is also wrapped in a quizzical delivery.

“Whaaaaaaaaaat?”

Clearly, this masterpiece has been crafted with a finesse no man has ever seen. It’s like the king has finally found the blacksmith who forges impenetrable armor for the masses' amusement.

Lil Wayne places a call to a friend. People still make those. He warns his friend he’s going to drown him in a fish tank and the friend on the receiving end finds it hard to believe him. Most certainly that is impossible, one cannot sacrifice his master to the harsh elements, he thinks. Little does he know it’s not just any master. The friend gurgles as Lil Wayne douses him inside the fish tank, pulling him out of the aquatic horror. The act, as before, does no harm to the phone.

A lot of these tricks have been the selling point for phones for a long time now. A phone can survive shock, scratches on the display, water. All of it. The same trick that’s been sold by even manufacturers like Sony.

But this ad brings all the difference. It’s not saying water resistance will save your life nor does it say you need it. It points to its presence as something you might want to fool around with. And thinking about it, you could choose to have it just in case you phone lands in a pretty uncomfortable place (that’ll also make it die a slow death). With this, you may not have to worry about it. It’s safe and it won’t hurt to have it setup as a backup party trick, too.

But do note: this ad quickly points out that iPhones do not have the same feature. With Lil Wayne’s friend attempting it, he fries his phone instantly (while he proceeds to throw him a Samsung after the fact. Well…). And that’s the point. These manufacturers all have the same masters that will turn you into a slave. They don’t support each other in the cause. They want you to own their masters not someone else’s. You might not need it, but hopefully an ad will sing to you, enough to steal your attention and wallet.

This story is part of the Great POMQA Writing Prompt. Join us in the People of Medium on Slack.