Have You Ever Pondered What It Would Be Like To Live A Simple Life… In The South… As A Transgender Woman?

Well, not to play the victim. But, for me, it’s been quite the challenging endeavor. From a very-young-age, I often questioned my gender identity.

At around the-age-of-seventeen, I came to the realization that I didn’t fit into the male gender binary, and that I was definitely much more feminine than I had ever been masculine. For me, this distinction wasn’t that big of a deal. I considered and consider it — in the same way I do any of my other attributes. I happen to be left-handed, Caucasian, naturally brunette, and brown eyed. And, despite my assigned gender-at-birth (being male), I identify as a female. For me, it was — and is… just that simple.

As an umbrella term, the word “transgender” implies that an individual expresses his/her/their gender differently than his/her/their assigned gender-at-birth. To get technical, an individual who bares this distinction is said to most likely meet the criteria for “gender-dysphoria,” according to the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM–5).

The most common treatment for gender-dysphoria is generally aligned with feminisation, masculinization, or both, depending on the individual of course. Now-a-days, trans-people are pursuing transitions as early as their young teens. Prior to the recent-up-rise in mainstream trans-culture — stemming from publicized, celebrity transitions, such as Caitlyn Jenner and Chaz Bono; individuals, like myself, as I’m sure countless others, were reluctant to begin our transition.

I’m 31-years-old and have identified as a woman for the the last-eight-years. I always knew that I was different, I just didn’t know how. That was until I figured out that I’m a woman, not a man. For the-longest-time, I thought I was just another gay guy. But, after allowing a close girlfriend of mine to dress me up (as a girl), I knew that it was much more than a difference of sexual orientation.

After getting all-dolled-up in a lime green halter top that my girlfriend and I picked out at Steve and Barry’s, (a then local, low-budget retailer), and some clear, platform-heels from Tisun beauty store (not just a place to buy beauty products), we hit the town and headed to Scorpio, a well-known gay nightclub in Charlotte, N.C.

To my surprise, I felt more comfortable than I had ever felt in my entire life.

Instead of trying to suppress all of my feminine attributes, I began to embrace them.

I WAS FREE!!!!

After that night, I started dressing up quite regularly. However, I did still identify as a male for a number-of-years. I experimented with doing Drag shows; and, while I loved the entertaining aspect of it, it just wasn’t for me. I just wanted to be able to be myself without having to conform to the standard of others. And, to be honest, I experienced more scrutiny from my peers in the “gay” scene than I ever have from non-LGBTQ individuals. I even remember a fellow trans-girl asking me if my hair was real or if it was a wig, saying that, “she only considered girls to be “real” if their hair was natural.” At that time, I did wear wigs, because my natural hair was quite short. Nevertheless, we all know there are tons of genetic women who rock some very cute, short hairstyles. For me, having longer hair made me feel more feminine. I’m also a bigger girl, so longer hair, in my opinion, was more suitable for complimenting my full-figured-physique.

At the age-of-24, I began identifying as a woman, full-time. That year, I had decided to go back to school to pursue a college degree. Having experienced a tremendous amount of bullying and teasing all the way up from elementary to high school, I felt like this was a great opportunity to liberate myself from all the emotional turmoil and social bondage, which had plagued my life for far too many years.

On the first day of class, most professors began by instructing all the students to introduce themselves and to say something interesting about ourselves. I took full advantage of this platform by telling everyone that I was indeed a transgender female. I thought this would lessen any awkwardness, as well as relieve my fellow students from wondering whether I was a male or female. I’ve learned that this is the best approach for removing any questions or stigma that might be lingering in the minds of others. I also emailed all of my professors before the first day of class and let them know that I was transgender, and to please address me by my preferred name (we’ll get to that story later) as well as feminine pronouns. Fortunately, all my professors and fellow students respected my wishes.

To my surprise, my experience as a transgender student was quite positive. I rarely felt uncomfortable, and only recall having a few instances of ignorant or unflattering behavior.

Now, through-the-years, I, of course, have dealt with my share of ridicule and opposition. But, in the great words of Nobel Prize winner and French author, Andre Gide, “it’s better to be hated for what you are, than to be loved for something you are not.”