Suicide and Depression:
We Are All A Part Of The Ripple Effect
The news spread like wild fire yesterday about the passing of Linkin Park front man, Chester Bennington. His death was a result of suicide; his body was discovered in his home. Chester had hanged himself. He was 41 and left behind his wife and 6 children. This news came shortly after the death of another legendary rock artist, Chris Cornell (Soundgarden, Audioslave) who also took his life in the same way back on May 17th. He was only 52. These two were close friends; Chester was the godfather to one of Chris’ children. Chester even sang at Chris’ funeral on May 26th. And something else…. Chester’s suicide took place on what would have been Chris’ 53rd birthday.

Because I work in our local music scene, the majority of my Facebook friends are musicians. Artists who were deeply effected by the passing of both of these men. Their music changed lives and inspired the next generation of bands. Status after status filled my newsfeed with overwhelming feelings of grief and sadness, a sense of loss and even shock. So much so, that friends were sharing Suicide Prevention Hotline phone numbers and text links to encourage any of their loved ones who may be considering the same dark path, to reconsider. These heartfelt posts were met with opposite emotions of anger and frustration by some who believe it was a selfish and coward way out. Others mocking the friends who were feeling sorrow and pain from these untimely deaths.
This is where my thoughts and opinions come in. I am definitely someone who can say I have never, EVER entertained the idea of taking my own life. I can honestly say that even in past moments when life seemed to be at the worst it could possibly get, did I not for one moment feel that my only option was to stop the pain indefinitely.
I know I am very fortunate to be this strong. To be this positive when life can be at its darkest. And I have the greatest empathy for those who are not so strong.
Now, while I cannot even imagine what the family’s of both Chris and Chester are feeling or experiencing at this time, I also will not pass judgement on either man since I really know nothing about them other than what the media, press, and websites have given us. I am not in their day to day life and know nothing of their upbringing, life moments, or any triggers or traumas they experienced. BUT -
What I can share is that I have witnessed couples and families being torn apart, and lives being uprooted by one person’s single choice, that led to a series of choices. I have learned of friends who have contemplated suicide at the hands of the ripple effect from one single, negative action. You know the ripple effect, right? You throw a pebble into a pond and watch the ripples grow outward, bigger and bigger, eventually creating a wave that moves the entire pond.

Because whether we wish to believe this or not, every one of our actions effect someone else. EVERY ONE ACTION. Our words. Our gestures. Our posts on social media. I will admit it irks me when I see people who post socially on how they don’t care what other think, and if you don’t like my posts then you can unfriend yourself.
Yes — this is true. But, let’s be real about this. Because if anyone really did not care what others thought of them, then they would not waste time posting for the world to see. In fact, they would just hide all of their posts so that they were the only ones who could read it (did you know that function exists on Facebook? Go look. Right now. It’s there).
Social media has done many things — one of them is showing you and I what we all really want the rest of the world to think of us. Have you ever wondered why those ‘nametests.com’ quizzes are somewhat if not pretty close to being accurate? Algorithms. A series of algorithms based off of your own posts. Quick — a show of hands… who has deleted posts from your “Facebook Memories Feed” because you did not wish to be reminded of that ex you kept posting about, or those dumb, childish rants you used to go on? Well — Facebook remembers and much like the diaries we used to write from our childhood, display our history of thoughts and emotions for the world to see.
M y point is this; we are all here to be of service to one another. Sometimes it is for the better, and sometimes it is for the worst. But, it is always a lesson to learn from. Just like the saying, “it takes a village to raise a child” is true… well, so does “it takes a community to heal a soul”. (I made that last one up, but it has a nice ring to it, yes?) Both Chris and Chester did not suddenly decide that suicide was the only option. It took time. YEARS. Probably with the help of drugs and alcohol. Maybe due to the lack of attention and support from family and friends. Perhaps, they did a great job at hiding their extreme pain from those they loved the most. And perhaps, had a few close friends or family dug a little deeper, maybe paid a little more attention and put in a little more effort in being involved then maybe….just maybe neither of them would have come to the result they did. I am not naive — I am aware that if someone really wishes to end their life then they will take every measure to make it happen. Even if we all did our best to be supportive and loving.
But, we must try anyway. I mean… I would definitely want someone to try with me should I ever get that dark in my heart.
B e the change you wish to see in the world. Lead by example. Go with peace in your heart. There is someone out there who needs you to.
And if you are the one needing it, then know there are people in your life who are ready and willing to be your rock.

