You say he makes choices that prevent the cohesiveness of a family. This sounds like the kind of disharmony that covert narcissists are expert at creating. Somehow nothing ever proceeds in a harmonious manner. Just somehow. But you are right. It hardly matters. If he’s destructive and hurtful that’s all you need to know. Best of luck in your ongoing situation. If you ever need to vent my email is roadsidenamaste@gmail.com. Myla