who i was before shit hit the fan
I can tell you one thing, I am one of the women out there who didn’t see it coming. At all. Yes, we had our differences, and yes, we had our moments where we would literally have a screaming match over a plate in the dishwasher, but never in my wildest dreams did I ever see my marriage ending, and so soon.
I was married for just over 2 years. In those 2 years we went through a multitude of trials and tribulations — one of which included me transitioning to a whole new career path and a lot of graduate school woes. However, we also experienced happiness that I cannot quantify. To this day, I still recall moments where my eyes were filled with happy tears at the memories that we were creating together. We were in love…. or so I thought.
I came from a background filled with depression, eating disorders, general anxiety disorder and not the most loving home. No, not all of these things disappeared when we were dating and then married, but a lot of what we had together made the depression not feel so all-consuming. Was I depressed the entire length of our relationship? Yes. Am I still depressed? Hands down, my psychiatrist and psychologist team get paid the big bucks for a reason.
Leading up to the big day of separation, I still thought we would be growing old together. Sipping tea, watching our kids, then grandkids, play in our yard with our dog. Still holding onto the inside jokes and stories we created together.
And then that shitty day in February was dropped on my feet. And here we are.