8 Steps to Better Experiencing Life (3/4)

What’s wonderfully refreshing about “life” is that it’s not a goal to chase nor a destination to arrive at. It’s not even a “journey” (a metaphor!) if we’re being perfectly honest. Life is an “experience”, coloured by our perceptions, felt through our emotions and rationalised in our mind.
The more you experience, the more you live and learn about yourself, about others and the world around you. The first of these — learning about yourself — entails exploring the two most powerful forces within you: your mind and your heart; then observing their relationship in your daily life (i.e. does one dominate or do they complement each other?). The importance of this exploration cannot be overstated: quite simply, it will go a long way towards determining how your life plays out.
This Article — the third in a series of four — delivers 8 simple steps aimed at helping your “experience” becomes as powerful, as wonderful and heartfelt as you want it to be from this moment forth.
(Make sure you have a pen and paper handy)
Here are the 8 steps:
Step 1: Take a “helicopter view” of your life today, by writing down the 10 things that dominate your daily routine (i.e. “looking after my kids”, “working my job as a … ”, “surfing internet/social media”, etc.). Include 2 or 3 thoughts (that continuously feature ) within that list, i.e. “I worry about the future” or “I have an optimistic outlook”.

Step 2: Visualise yourself doing these 10 things, one by one, observing your energy as you do. For instance, “positive energy in my job”; “negative energy doing my chores”; “neutral energy grocery shopping”, and so on. Tap into your internal energy compass (your gut!) and colour code (using a highlighter) with 3 distinct colours to get a mini “screenshot” of your daily life. Make sure you decide based on the overall feeling (i.e. “overall I like my job — so that’s a positive — even if some days I don’t”).
Step 3: Create Your Vision of Happiness: what does happiness feel like to you (as opposed to what it looks like)? Close your eyes and try and connect to your deepest self. Write down no more than 3 words, so choose carefully.
Going well! You are proving your commitment to yourself … let’s now deepen the exploration.
Step 4: Choose your 3 Core Values, by answering the question that resonates most in you out of … 1) what values give you wings “to fly” just by thinking about them (i.e. love, honesty, helping others)? Or 2) what matters most to you above all else? When you have three values written down, move on.
Step 5: Choose your 3 Core Behaviours, by thinking about what “processes” give you the greatest “pain” in life. For instance, if (mis)communication is at the root of many relationship problems you have at home or at work — then select communication as a behaviour you need to work on. If you feel you are indecisive and this frustrates you, perhaps choose decision-making as a process. Choose 3 “somethings” that if you were able to improve them, you know would make a MASSIVE positive difference in your life.
Step 6: Choose your 3 Core Aspirations, by asking yourself: what do you want MOST right now in life? Write down what comes straight to you without thinking. Then ask yourself whether your aspirations are something you want to have… something you want to do… someone you want to be, and simply acknowledge the difference. Whatever you have chosen is right for you now.

Here’s something amazing! In Steps 4 to 6, you created your very own “Power of 9” (3 values/3 behaviours/3 aspirations). Make sure you remember them going forward. Why? Because they are the very essence of who you are, and they will help you make better decisions.
Step 7: Use the Power of Your Sub-Conscious Mind, by having your Power of 9 written on a piece of paper that remains beside your bed. Every morning before you get into “doing” mode, take a moment to just BE … by reading that paper 3 times with feeling and passion, reminding yourself of who you are (your values), how you want to improve (your behaviours), and what you want most in life (your aspirations).
Step 8: Merge How You Live (your list of “10 things”) with Who You Are (your “Power of 9”), by taking a few moments during your day to connect what you are doing (i.e. working, looking after kids, resting, etc.) with your Power of 9 (i.e. honesty, decision-making, freedom). This approach serve to answer the “why” of what you do, and to harness the power of your mind with the power your heart, making your life “experience” all the more fulfilling.
Four words to bring it all together:
BE AS YOU DO
And let the real you shine through…
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Jonathan Cave is a coach, mentor, and the creator of “MyPhy”, a methodology that empowers corporate teams, families and individuals towards happier, more productive environments where they can truly flourish. Visit myphy.com and get in touch if you have any questions or queries — we love exchanging! And don’t forget to take our free “Happiness Gap” Test to see how big or small your happiness gap is.
