The author art directing herself for a freelance assignment. New York 1997. Photo Myriam Lopez

Glossary of Terms

Although related by blood to a few lawyers, one detective, and one criminologist, I have acquired my working knowledge of criminal law firsthand. That being said, I wish someone had explained all this mumbo-jumbo before I got arrested in Manhattan for leaving my boyfriend an angry voicemail— so here.



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Myriam Lopez Garcia

I write humorously about my path to US citizenship and my discontent with the status quo. I’m a former TV executive and creative director who loves to dive in.