As long as I can remember, I’ve been bathing in this boiling water. At first it burnt my skin but as time went on, I found comfort in the pain. Someone I’m in love with could never want to hurt me, they just wanted me to be bacteria free. As the water boils, the more my skin burns and the more I try to ignore the pain. Love is pain, right? There is no love when there’s no pain, boiling water is nothing compared to the love I have for you. I’ll burn myself now, I’ll burn myself in the future as long as it means I can stay in this boiling water with you.
You are with me through this, right?
People around me told me that it’s idiotic to put yourself in this boiling water and staying for too long, they said that nobody in their right mind would do that. They don’t know us like I do, they could never understand the love we have for each other and why this boiling water is not a problem. Nobody in their right mind would not want to sit in this pool if they knew that they are doing it for you.
Maybe, they are right.
Every time I think about getting out of this pool, I could only think about how much it would hurt you to know that I am not happy with this. This is no longer a paper house, this is a paper house that’s burning. When I opened my eyes, amidst of all the fogs I couldn’t see you. When I look far away from the pool, I see you adding more fuel to the fire that’s heating up the boiling water. Surely, you are doing this for the right reason right?
Nobody.. in.. love would want to hurt…
It’s a misunderstanding. I think.
As I float in the boiling water, slowly losing myself I feel a gentle light shower that seemed to heal all the burn scars from the hot water. Slowly, the boiling water was replaced with warm calming water. For the first time, I wasn’t convincing myself that the pain I felt was comfort. I am truly in comfort now. I thought it was you, I knew you were always looking out for me. When I looked over to search for you, to my surprise you weren’t there. Matter of fact, there was nobody adding fuel to the water. There was just.. god.
But, why? You promised you’ll stay forever.
Time went on, I found my peace and comfort with god. Who would’ve known that pain is not love? I had to learn it the hard way. I haven’t thought about you in a while, I feel more happier. Now when I look at my body, there are no longer any burn marks; just scars that you left me with. No matter how much I try to avoid thinking about you in a horrible light, nothing can change the fact that you put me in the boiling water and you turned the heat up no matter how much I begged for you to stop. I am sad, I am sad that I had to learn it the hard way.
Anger turned into love, love turned into more love.
The love I feel now is not me convincing myself, it is pure and real. I was surprised to see heaven in god’s eyes, I never once was treated right and god is the blessing in my life. As I bathe in the warm water than he set to a perfect temperature for me, when I looked over; at the other end of the pool he sits. This time he is there with me, I’m no longer alone.
I’ve found my home.
