Mad House, Hell Hole

I can’t complain about my family. They are the people I know I can fall back to whenever life gives me lemon.

Only recently that I feel like my family has become a place of constant disagreements. This is definitely not your normal everyday disagreement, it consists of many long texts, abusive mean language from my part, abusive passive aggressive language from the other side, self-harm, and the constant fear one of us is going to crack and have a mental break down.

There is not a recurring subject in our dispute, but one thing I found remain constant. The urge to blame someone else for what we feel or how we react. Everyone has a story of why they were hurt, antagonizing the other person, victimizing themselves.

As I lay awake at 2AM in the morning, thinking back of the house-shattering argument I had with my whole family. I tried to find a reason for this whole madness, we had always fight growing up, my parents had always try to dictate us, steering us into the path they think is suitable. Nothing has changed but from the young school girls’ fight where we pull each other hair and throw things at each other.

But I want to change this. I will try to be the change.

Winning an argument might not be as important anymore. And I hope one day the one who act like a sour bitch will know what she’s doing.


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