Backward but NOT backward

BACKWARD BUT NOT BACKWARD is a common situation when we think and how other sees us that we look like we are stepping backward, but our innerself know that we are not moving backwards. A bit confusing on expressing it but this word popped up right out of no where. Let me try to give an example of my current situation. I’m running a graphic design company with failed management for the past few months that caused the team performances to be slow. Apart from that, with poor management also caused me, as the marketing manager unable to get more project(s) in a day. I just did not have the right team members and that lasted for quite long.

My company was in a silent mode for a while as I planned to just keep everything as much as we can, not more, not less, just dealt with limitations. It was truly hard, I felt things were unmoving, everything went backwards especially in financial matters; it all went flopped. And I remember a quote saying we have to move backward in order to move forward so I did move backward, took the struggles again.

I moved backward for several months, then started to gain more team members, but still it was not the right ones. I thought the company had just the right people for the right positions but they weren’t. But see, there is a different — the first time when people left, it felt so wrong; but when the second time happened, your guts telling you that “this is what shall be done in order to get where you need to be”.

I hope I explained them well based my experience. I wondered, how could I run a company with that small number of people? I NEEDED more, I thought I needed more, but now I realize, I don’t think I need as much as I supposed to need. What we , personally needed, have always been different than what GOD and the Universe given us. Because our personal needs come often from our fears. I am fear that my company may not function properly nor begetting more projects, with only less than 5 team members. Funny, but my company runs better, faster, calmer and starting to be more organized with just that small number for team members. And this is what I mean by “backwards but not backwards”.

Of course, I am not a mind-reader, neither I know what’s the problem(s) you’re facing right now. But I want to tell you that “ whatever problem(s) you are facing, you have to stop doubting, and start trusting” You must trust! Trust to what you’re being given at the moment, Trust to the journey you’re walking right now, although it does not look beautiful nor fulfill what you think you need.

This is what we think, what other think, but perhaps, it is not what we believe in. Let other see what they want to see, but don’t let their opinions affected you. Moving backwards does not mean bad! Simply, it means that there are some lessons we haven’t learned yet or some problems which we don’t realize that needed to be solved soon. Moving backward is painful, but see from the other side, are you really moving backward or you are actually look like moving backward but actually walking one step forward? We can’t adjust everything based on our needs because at this moment, maybe that’s what you and other needed at the moment.

The same way as relationship whether it is friendship or lover. We argue , we fight even more, but somehow we will be finding ways to rekindle. There is no friendship that had no backwards moments and there is no love relationship that keep moving forward too. Every relationship have more than once, moved backward for time-being, and then rebuild again. Moving Backward doesn’t mean you lost it forever, but it is for us and others to analyze the situations, the problems, and covered the missing puzzles. If we don’t talk for few days or weeks with our best friends or group or lover, is that mean the relationship over? If you think that way, then it is from your point of view, but the other party may think that they just need time to be alone, time to take one step backward, and to just be in their state of mind.

You must had been in the situations, where you need some air to breathe, moments to be alone, to reflect about your life, time to just be only you, you, and you to find some inner peace. Sometimes, the best way to solve problems or to let other aware of the problem is to be quite, in silence, and take a moment away from them. Backwards but not backwards, right?

In the end, taking a step or few steps backwards is what we needed to see what’s wrong, to understand the situations, to find peace in ourself, to discover new things, to learn and to fix mistakes. Don’t be too worried of going backward, it is not going to kill you; there’s just an unsolved business. Don’t judge what you see, more ask your heart, because what we think and see are based on our judgments, a judgement from our mind based on our analyses and theories. Good luck! :)