“You are your worst enemy!

The quote that everyone knows for sure and at the same time, it’s quote that make us wonder, whether are we against our true self or our surroundings? Well, no one can defeat you as terrifying and powerful as your mind. No one can take over your whole life and neither you can love or hate someone so much if it’s not you and your mind who allow and decide it.

Have you ever thought why someone dislike or hate you? How can someone have those negative thoughts about you? Where those thoughts come from? Did they hear from their surroundings? Did they feel intimidate with you or did they have bad experiences with you that you didn’t realize? But what if you don’t even really know that person except having basic conversations and yet the other person show disrespect and dislikes you out of no where?

Everyone must have been in that one situation when you have no idea why the other person act disrespectful with you, without you don’t even know a bit of much about them? Perhaps, you didn’t have any negative thoughts about that person, but knowing the other party have so much hatred toward you , you start to get those negative impacts from their attitudes and suddenly get irritated with them being next to you. At first you don’t care much, but then, you start to wonder about them, you start to ask their friends, why are they behaving like that to you and suddenly you have so much questions in your mind about what have you done, and yet still can’t find the faults you made.

There is this famous Japanese quote which said and I’m totally agreed with it. “You have three faces ; the face you show the world, the face you show to your close friends and family, and the face you never show anyone — the truest reflection of who you are.” Without us realizing, this is so true. The first face is how you want the world to see you as, the face you want everyone to know you and you decide how to build your image . It is more like we are creating a brand of ourself to those whom we interact and impress; Then after finding common interests, you start to feel secure and start to reveal who you are, and that is the second face you show.
In the second face of yours, you are showing your best and good personalities first and limitting yourself to show the dark sides of you. You aren’t straight away showing your bad attitudes, but at the same time, slowly, you are giving everyone a taste of who you are when you’re calm, who you are when you are hopeful, what can you do when you are in anger and who you would become when things are falling apart and how you react when things aren’t in your favor. Through this second face, you are evolving — you are choosing and being chosen; you are in the process of segmenting those people while the others are making decision whether you’re worthy or not. Yes, you classified people by choosing who you want to be your good or best friends and turning them into a part of your family members. This evolving stage beings and continues until the end of the relationships. What’s that supposed to mean? It simply means, your second face is your trademark — you as human being, you as who you are to those whom you want them to see you as and in what kind of relationship.

The third face is growing. This face shall keep changing based on how’d you react to every situation in life you’re facing. This face is hidden, beneath you, only you who know the deepest, the best, the worst, and the darkest sides of you. This face is barely shown and only very rare people knows the realest you — either your family ever know. This hidden personality, the kinkiest side of you are keep changing or in other word of saying : you are either creating or becoming who you are truly / wanted to be.

It sounds like we are having multiple personalities disorders, but this is true. We can’t show the true us to strangers or to even our closest ones until we are sure we also know their darkest side. Branding — Evolving — Growing is how I defined the three stages of our faces.

Now, take a deep breath and look yourself in the mirror or take time to just be you. Recalling, the certain issues which you’re facing with someone. Questioned yourself such as, how’d started? what have you done / said that may offended? why did I react that way? Ask as much questions as you want, even the ones you aren’t sure and answer those questions honestly, because you are asking yourself. You are questioning the issues, the current situations, the attitudes, are they behaving like that because you start it first? Once you find the answers, you ask and tell them. Don’t be scared to be truthful to yourself.

Uncommonly, the faults may not be in you, it may not be you who start it, it may not be you who are against yourself, it may not just be you who have problems but in the end, it must be you who get the sh*t :D! You are your worst enemy, whether you’re right or wrong, just let you be honest with yourself, be honest to the involve party, solve the problems, forgive each other and move on.

We can’t control other’s behaviors, but we can control ours. We can’t expect others to forgive , but we can forgive ourself and them. Whatever attitudes the other side are showing, we shall control ourself because remember, we are branding ourself, making trademark of ourself but at the same time, we shall make our feeling and thoughts are heard.

We are the CEO of our self-image :)
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