The Lapdog That Kicked My Ass (In a Good Way)

Last summer, my self-confidence hit bottom. My lapdog rescued me. Here’s the story.

Marta Kagan
Aug 25, 2017 · 5 min read
This is Jack, my 8-year-old silky terrier

Last summer I “hit bottom” as they say.

I’d spent six months and twenty-some-thousand dollars launching an online course that I expected to be a runaway hit. “Early retirement, here I come!” I thought optimistically. (Note: I almost always think optimistically. It’s my jam.)

The course content was awesome. The marketing plan was top-notch. The free video course I offered as a lead-in to sales was fantastic, modeled after the highly successful Jeff Walker method. The ad campaigns we ran on Facebook performed well. And all the feedback I got from colleagues, peers, former clients, and mentors was spectacular.

Grab a free copy of my audio training at http://www.clubmartafy.com/p/confidence

This was going to be the start of a huge shift in my business; a massive success! I set a goal of enrolling at least 100 students in the first month; 1000 in the first quarter.

Total enrollment after six months: 53.

I was devastated. Not only was I not even close to breaking even on my investment, I was utterly clueless about what went wrong.

I did everything “right.” I cut no corners. I poured my heart and soul (and emptied my bank account) into bringing this course to life and launching it rockstar-style. But nobody seemed to care.

I felt like a total failure.

Photo by Patryk Sobczak on Unsplash

For weeks, I avoided looking at my finances, because I didn’t want to face the reality that I was in deep shit.

I would wake up almost every night at 3am in a panic about how I would recover from the financial impact of this disaster.

What would I say to my family? To my employees?

How would I go on marketing my expertise as a branding and marketing whiz if my own marketing efforts were a giant pile of poo?

Needless to say, I lost my mojo. And my confidence.

I went from “Branding Badass” to total Sad Sack. I didn’t feel like blogging, or working out, or playing guitar. And I avoided questions about “how business is doing” like a vampire avoids the noonday sun.

The only thing that brought me comfort during this dark time was my dog, Jack. Jack is a 10lb silky terrier whose primary goal in life is to find the sunniest, softest spot possible to nap. He’s as sweet and snuggly as they come; totally submissive, extremely affectionate, and the perfect salve for my bruised ego.

Jack, in his usual pose.

Except when he encounters another dog twice his size.

In the face of certain death or dismemberment (by say a Doberman Pinscher or a Pit Bull), Jack is as brave (stupid?) and determined as they come.

So one day while we’re both lying on the hammock in my front yard — Jack, licking his hind paw, and me, licking my proverbial wounds — a woman walking a Great Dane passed by our driveway. Jack, who wears an electric collar to protect him from running into the street (we live on a main road), didn’t let the pain of electric shock stop him from doing his doggy job of charging right through the electric fence and attaching his his tiny teeth to the poor dog’s neck.

(Don’t worry, everyone came out of this kerfuffle just fine).

It was in this moment that I realized my dog had more self-confidence and courage than I did.

My fucking lapdog was more of a badass than I had become.

Talk about a reality-check.

As the adrenaline from the incident subsided, I realized that my ego had become a lot like a lap dog. It too, was always looking for a soft and sunny spot to rest.

For too long, I’d been avoiding, denying, and wallowing in self-pity.

And I suddenly became aware of the nasty little voice inside my head that had been attacking me (constantly), just like Jack had attacked that innocent Great Dane.

It called me a “loser,” “failure,” and a “fraud.”

I was fucking bullying myself!!! WTF?!

As embarrassed as I am to admit that my lap dog’s kerfuffle with a Great Dane was the turning point in my Season of Self-Doubt, I felt compelled to share this with you, because I know that my experience isn’t unusual.

You’ve been there, haven’t you? You’ve had an experience that knocked you on your ass and left you feeling like a giant sack of dog shit baking in the sun?

You know what it’s like to be plagued with self-doubt. To avoid doing the things you most want to do, because you’re so scared you’ll fail (again) and that everyone will realize you’re not actually “all that.”

Am I right?

Well today’s the day you’re going to handle that shit, darling. Enough is enough. It’s time to stop playing small and start LIVING LARGE.

It’s time to put on your Big Girl panties, face your fears, ignite your inner badass, and GET SHIT DONE!

And to help you do that, I’ve put together a short (<20 minutes) audio training and PDF action plan that will spell out the exact steps you need to take TODAY. Right fucking now.

Grab a free copy of my audio training at http://www.clubmartafy.com/p/confidence

This is the same roadmap I used to reignite MY inner badass and find the courage to stop asking, “Why did I fail?”and start answering, “What did I learn from this?” and “How can I use this experience to my advantage? To succeed?”

Don’t let self-doubt, fear, insecurity, or that bitchy inner critic waste another precious minute holding you back from living like you mean it. It is your BIRTHRIGHT to pursue your dreams, to take risks — and yes, to occasionally fail.

And then… to get right back up and try again.

Download my free confidence-boosting, inner-badass-igniting audio training here >>

All love,
Marta

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Marta Kagan

Written by

Founder of IgniteYourInnerBadass.com & AceThePitch.com. Former head of Brand & Buzz @HubSpot. Frequently #NSFW.

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