Dear Hip, I just don’t like you.

Let’s be honest. We were never close. We lived together. We trained in dance not for passion but because that’s where we found ourselves. Were we ever a team? I thought the deal was I showed up and you held me up under every circumstance. I’m wondering when that stopped, where we crossed paths, flipped each other off and kept it moving. Regardless of how we separated, we’ve come full circle to meet again and it’s not pretty.

Not only are we disconnected but you can cut the animosity between us with a knife. I think you’re being a stubborn little bitch for refusing to move like a baby who goes limp with dead weight when mommy needs him to walk. The deal was, I worked on my feet as long as 17 hours a day, 7 days a week to put food on the table for everyone I’m responsible for. I keep things going. I do. I make. I give. No matter my age, diet, size or level of attention that you need, you hold me up unconditionally. You needed to suck it up and do your job, like me. That’s life. Do. Your. Job. Your cries for help because of age, “abuse”, and weakness were above my pay grade. I was already working my ass off. I did my part. I can’t be responsible for everything with you.

We’ve been at this stand still for a while. What’s it been now, 3 years? 4? They say you can’t walk now. Word on the street says you’re closer to the mobility of a crippled 70 year old rather then the age of your peers, 30 to 40 years younger. As I’m sure you’ve heard, I’m not on the daily grind anymore. I work from my laptop. I’m happier taking it easy and ready to explore new places. You don’t look so good, though. Beat down. Still mad maybe? I’d buy you a drink out of courtesy if I thought it would do you some good. We have been through a lot over the years. I’ll give you that.

Just a reminder, I tried several times with you. Every time I would manage the physical therapy exercises, I’d heal one muscle into mobility only to trigger another weak muscle in need of nursing. It’s like being given a newborn every other day after teaching them to walk. You never seemed to want to respond. I know you’re in there though. I can feel you in there…

Apparently we need to show up and work together every day. I don’t see us becoming close but we should probably figure something out since I’ve cleared my schedule indefinitely to do this together. You don’t have to enjoy yourself, but it’d be good if you dropped the attitude. I’ll do the same.

See you tomorrow.

Author’s note: This entry is part of my process to achieve the SMART goal of correcting my hip mobility acquired from a car accident 20 years ago. I learned about SMART goals through Brian Rose and my membership at the London Real Academy.

Lisa May has been traveling internationally via House Sitting. Her mission is to take the fear out of living abroad, revealing that there is a world of opportunity available for everyone to obtain a proper quality of life.

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