High

What happens to the drug when users rehab and relapse?

Isn’t it cowardly — not being able to make up your own mind? Asking me, “what should I do?” I’m not going to let you leave me behind. You live your life as a titan, standing on my shoulders. You are tall and majestic and I am but a bag of smoke and dirt swirling around. But the bag is torn. Smoke fills the air. Dirt is on the ground.

You can walk away, go ahead. But I’ll always be right behind you, right until you’re dead. Right until you are no longer will your aching cease. You can live your life, your days and your nights. Nothing but me will ever be your release.

you’ll hurt when you eat and you’ll hurt when you sleep. It’ll never stop, some days you’ll hurt when you breathe. You can only hold your breath for so long and you can’t halt your being. You could no sooner stop wanting me as you could stop breathing.

I am your drug, hidden under your bed or at the back of the drawer, in case of emergency. Hidden away, but just within reach. Use away, you use me so crudely.

You come to me and you drown. You know you can’t breathe under the surface, but that doesn’t stop you from going all the way down. You love the high, and for the high, you ride the low. The high is so much sweeter when you’ve hit the below. You don’t want to come up for air; you know you need the oxygen. Everything is better with me in you, isn’t this what you’ve chosen?

That first hit is always the sweetest. Every time is like the first time I touched your lips. Soft and perfect and so unknown. So exciting. You feel so thrown. Yet, exactly in place. You feel the familiarity now, don’t you? You know you’ve found your space.

Another hit now, darling, you are almost there. Feel me all around you, feel me in the air. Inhale me and hold your breath. Feel me in your blood, touching you on the inside. It’s warm and nasty within you, but that’s no surprise.

You take your hit and put me down. Throw me away, stomp on me, hollow me out. Deep breaths. Now count to three. Counting is fun. Before you exhale, experience me fully. Sense me filling your head and consuming your lungs. Now that I am inside you, the fun has just begun.

You come to me when you’re troubled, when words aren’t enough. Pray for salvation, you know you can’t be saved. You want me even more now; it’s me that you crave. Fall to your knees, baby, don’t be so proud. Mercy! Mercy! You scream and you shout. Look to the sky; baby, feel me ripping at your will. Because I am all that is inside you, you’ve had your fill.

Try to forget me, go ahead and try it! The more you try to forget me, the more you want me. Don’t you dare deny it!

Inhale me or shoot me up. I’ll be in your alveoli; I’ll be in your veins. I’ll be in your heart and I’ll be in your brain. You’ll never forget how it feels, to have a hit off this crack pipe. You’ll keep coming back to me, you’ll let go of your life. You’ll lay to waste, all you had. You’ll see, honey, such a day will rise. One day you’ll look in the mirror and not recognize that man. That’s when you’ll run to me, faster than you can. You won’t see an end, you won’t see a beginning, and all you’ll want is me and the high I’m giving.