What is Self-Reflection?
Even though many readers probably already understand this term, the crux for this blog lies not just in the term itself but in the unique interpretation and meaning the author ascribes to “self-reflection”.
I’ve encountered the phrase:
“Think about how you think”
This interpretation encompasses much of what I mean by “self-reflection”.
Sounds simple, doesn’t it? But let’s dig deeper.
There’s another saying we all have heard at some point: “Think before you speak!”
Often used in specific situations and usually with a negative connotation.
With this phrase, we ask someone to consider their words, acknowledge their impact on others, and, importantly, not repeat them, implying this will lead to positive outcomes in the future.
It’s a way of learning from one’s mistakes on a micro level.
But what if we apply this approach to EVERYTHING we do?
A good starting point, indeed.
But we can go even further and analyze not just the past five minutes, but perhaps ten minutes? An hour? A day? A year? Ten years? From your first conscious memories? That’s what I mean by self-reflection.
Starting is always the hardest part, in any endeavor.
For me, the process naturally stemmed from a desire to solve accumulating problems.
I began asking myself questions,
The most important is “Why do I feel this way?” , or other ones like:
- “Why am I the way I am?”
- “Why did I do (or am doing) that?”
- “Why do I regret doing that?”
- And many more related to the specific context
When considering philosophy as a science, the methods of posing questions have been a paramount theme of discussion throughout its developmental history.
Historically, philosophers have proposed different subjects to question, reflecting what intrigued them most during specific periods of human development.
This time around, I suggest we once again center our discussions on the theme of the individual.
Not just any individual, but yourself and your inner world.
I applied these questions to various past situations, starting with the recent and moving to the distant.
I asked these questions systematically, countless times, trying to find answers.
At first, it was unfruitful, but with time new realizations emerged until there were no more tormenting questions from my “first memories” to the “present moment”.
I stopped dwelling on the past, gained the strength to address (not postpone) current problems, and began contemplating the future.
Since then, I’ve been amazed at how this practice has become an integral part of my life, happening almost effortlessly and automatically in my mind, at least regarding everyday processes.
Solving simpler problems paves the way to tackle more complex ones, where I again need to prompt myself to self-reflect.
Speaking about the early inklings of self-reflection.
I noticed this ability within myself during adolescence. It manifested through various “intelligent” conversations with adults.
This skill unfolded more intricately when living with my spouse.
Through pain, shouts, and tears (we rarely argued, but when we did, it was over fundamental issues), we set aside our pride and met each other halfway, discussing, analyzing, and resolving our disagreements.
These disagreements are often rooted in our distant past, shaped by our upbringing, the environments we grew up in, and how we perceived them, considering our personality traits.
Recognizing this process took many years.
Only after this acknowledgment did I learn to apply this skill to other areas of life.
I began to reflect intentionally and much more frequently, which often is an uncomfortable process.
Sometimes it even led to depressive states that I had to cope with.
In my case, I managed, but please, do not hesitate to seek professional help if you feel unable to handle it on your own.
Only recently have I been able to tame the raging stream of thoughts and channel them into productive activities, like writing for this blog? 🙂
Therefore, even self-reflection should be practiced wisely as any other tool.
P.S.: As a side effect (whether it’s pleasant is up to each individual to decide), I now inevitably shed a tear or two when watching content with emotional scenes in movies or video games.
Oh, how they tug at the heartstrings sometimes! 🥹
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