I am fascinated with leadership — if you’re like me, you’ve spent hundreds of hours researching, studying and observing leaders.
As it turns out, leadership is not a skill that can be developed passively. Through my own discoveries, I have come to realize that each of us can cultivate and refine our leadership abilities by implementing 3 simple practices.
How I learned this, however, took some bumps and bruises. Allow me to share…
I started my career in Hollywood as the Assistant to a well-known Producer. I was fresh out of film school and hungry to prove that I belonged, so I came in early, stayed late and even worked on the weekends. At that time, the office consisted of three full time staff members: the head honcho Producer, a Co-Producer, and myself, the Assistant. A few interns came and went but by and large, it was an intimate, promising and dysfunctional atmosphere.
Let me explain…
It wasn’t long after I started that I began to witness the abuse. On a weekly basis, the head honcho would call the Co-Producer into his office and proceed to insult, ridicule and shout at him at the top of his lungs. To accent his performance as the Co-Producer exited his office, tail between his legs, the Producer would kick and slam his office door — a final crescendo just in case the people in the adjacent office didn’t know who was boss. I was never directly subjected to this Producer’s abuse, but while I was saved from his tyranny, I wasn’t spared entirely. I was ridiculed, criticized and belittled at the hands of the Co-Producer.
Lesson #1 — Behaviors, good or bad, trickle down.
Subjected to mistreatment and months of 7-day work-weeks, I had a nervous breakdown. At the young, enthusiastic age of 24, I resigned, packed my bags, and left Hollywood, vowing never to return.
After a short recovery period in Florida, I moved to The Big Apple. My first job was at a non-profit startup whose Executive Director believed all children have promise and deserve an empowered childhood. As a leader, she was assertive but respectful, a good communicator and a great listener. She wasn’t afraid to delegate and was always open to collaboration. Above all, her unwavering dedication to empowering and creating opportunities had an equal impact on both the children the organization served and the staff who served them.
In the 8 months I spent working under her tutelage, she challenged, empowered, supported, uplifted, held me accountable and gave me my first real break as a filmmaker. It was from her that I learned an indelible philosophy that has served me well throughout my filmmaking career:
Lesson #2 — “A ‘no’ is just a ‘no’ for right now.”
Two “successful” people with contrasting leadership styles. It’s instinctive to embrace one and condemn the other, but as we strive to improve our own leadership skills, there are 3 simple leadership practices, collectively what I’ve termed the A.M.M. Process, that can assist us in grounding ourselves and avoiding emotional biases (meaning, don’t discount the lessons because your emotions favor one over another).
The A.M.M. Process
- Analyze — We’re best wired to learn through observation.
Simply put, being aware of every encounter we have with leaders and taking note of the good, the bad and the ugly can be instrumental in shaping our own leadership style. Speaking of ugly, it’s easy to criticize and discount demonstrations of bad leadership. However, if we resist that temptation, there’s oftentime a few lessons we can still apply. Surely, poor leaders teach us how not to lead, but they also offer us a contrast from which we can recognize good leadership when we see it.
2. Model — Trying on behavior we’ve seen others model and practicing it is an effective way of learning new skill sets.
When it comes to honing our leadership, modeling leaders we look up to can give us insights we need to transform heady knowledge into useful application. Who’s your leadership role model? Take an inventory and the time to distinguish what makes them admirable. Then, get to practicing. One caveat here: give yourself permission to be bad — so long as it doesn’t hurt someone — you’re allowed to suck and make mistakes at first. With practice, you’re going to improve.
3. Mold — With trial and error, comes confidence and the ability to shape our leadership identity based on our beliefs, values, and experiences.
At this stage, molding ourselves becomes less about emulating role models and more about listening to our inner knowing, and refining our actions. Only through the process of iteration does the best final project come to fruition. And this is just as true for our leadership.
There you have it, the A.M.M. Process. Putting these lessons and processes into practice continues to help me hone my leadership mojo.
Today, I am grateful to say I’m back in Hollywood… and thriving.
Who’s impacted your leadership?
What lessons do you model that have improved how you lead?
Let me know and let’s continue this conversation.
