You will never be complete.
I am a 28 year old woman who has studied, learnt, worked, earned, nurtured, inspired, laughed, talked and cried my way into this moment. And here I am, sat at a small desk my mum gave me last week, and typing on a laptop that took me 5 months to pay off in instalments.
From the outside looking in, you will see a confident female who has built herself a happy and successful little life. But as the architect who has created this, I LIVE the weight and true value of every worldly thing I have enkindled.
Everything I touch in my studio for example, is a reflection of a heartfelt goal to create a space that I could call a home.
- When I first moved into my studio, I slept on sleeping bags I borrowed from a friend for a month, until I could afford a bed.
- The sofa I relax on in the evenings was bought using money I received when I was injured in a car accident that I needed months of physiotherapy to recover from.
- The TV in my room is a hand-me-down from a lovely friend who moved away.
- The flowers in my balcony garden were gifted to me by an incredible performing artist I met a few years ago…
I achieved my goal and I created my home, but this was gradual, and slow, and a sum of many smaller milestones that took months for me to actualise.
So why am I still unsatisfied?
I’ve given this phenomenon a lot of thought, and I’d like to try and explain why I think this is.
Every time I consult a potential client, we inevitably reach a point in the conversation where we get lofty about aspirations and the world of ‘here I am right now’ starts making a timid journey towards ‘here is where I need to be’.
The interesting thing I have noticed about a lot of these moments is the fact that many people tend to assume that once they’ve gotten that raise, or met the man of their dreams, or launched their own business, (or even found their home!) they will reach a level of personal satisfaction that will settle them. Or that somehow, once you’ve crossed off your biggest challenge, you will shift from a person in progress, to a person who is complete.
Of course this isn’t true, and as soon as you’ve ticked off one goal, you will naturally stumble across another seemingly insurmountable situation that leaves you feeling lost or confused all over again.
A valuable lesson I have learnt on my own personal journey is that we aren’t meant to be complete. We will never be satisfied, and we will never feel finished or done. Life is difficult, and our trials are absolutely going to push us to our limits, but this is what being a human is about.
Making peace with the fact that I may never be satisfied with who or where I am, is part of my life’s work, and will be the driving force that motivates me to leave behind a legacy.
Be it the home where you live, the job that you do, or the marriage that you love in, you are a constant and ever evolving human being who will never be complete. You will always want for something in the distance, that you don’t yet have, or haven’t yet achieved.
Let go of the idea that a single goal or a year of goals will complete you. You will always be reaching, and this is what life is for.