That small voice can also be in your way. Don’t trust it too much (especially if you are a woman).

Nadja Schnetzler
Jul 23, 2017 · 4 min read

More than two decades ago I co-created an innovation process called «The Idea Machine». It is a process designed to help people and organisations come up with great ideas and to also implement them.

Today, in a discussion with a friend, I was reminded how important one crucial element of this process is. This element is making sure that people can express ideas without self-censorship, without having to listen to this small voice in their heads telling them that their idea might also be a stupid one.

It is crucial that in idea generation processes people can really put all options, even the seemingly “stupid” ones, on the table. Because in an idea generation process, all thoughts, snippets and ideas generated can become very valuable in the next phase, when people create specific solutions based on all the raw material available.

I realised today, that, especially as women, our small voice of self-censorship is extremely powerful and influences our thinking and acting much more than we all realise. And most of the time, we do not even notice, unless someone points it out to us. This happened to me today.

I was expressing an idea about a topic that we had discussed already a few times and started exploring it further, and then, without even noticing it myself, I said: “But it’s probably a horrendously stupid idea”.

What happened then was interesting. First, my friend asked: “Why do you say that?” (I really was not able to answer the question.). We then explored the idea further and it turned out to be better and better with every minute we discussed it. At the end of the discussion, my friend said: “Don’t do that please. Don’t self-censor your ideas by labelling them as stupid”.

The thing is, this small voice in our heads (and I really think mostly in female heads) is very powerful. It leads us to belittle things we say because we have learned, from early childhood, that we are not to stand out, not to be too sure of ourselves, not to be too loud. That is other’s (male people’s) arena. It’s subtle information that is given to us throughout our childhood and teenage years, and that we have internalised to the point where we do not even notice that we stop ourselves from developing and reaching our potential. It creates a layer of insecurity that leads us to automatically question our own thoughts, needs and ideas as less important than other people’s thoughts, needs and ideas.

With this internalised behaviour, we do not only limit our own potential, but also give people who do not have this insecurity (mostly, men) permission to compensate.

By taking our ideas (especially if we belittle them ourselves) and with this by giving them unspoken permission to make them theirs, by taking more time for talking, by taking up more space, and so on. It is a self-reinforcing system where people one side always signal that they deserve less and need less and, logically, the other side compensates by taking up more space, time and importance.

The true challenge, really, at least for me, is that this little voice operates in stealth mode. I do not hear it say in my head “what a stupid idea” and can then tell it “shut up, it’s not a stupid idea, it’s actually a great one” — this model would be one where I could just ignore the small voice. No, it works more automated than that. I hear myself say something and automatically correct it because (I assume) it sounds too daring, too risky, too self-confident to my inner policing system, and, automatically, I say something to appease that policing system. “That is probably a stupid idea” is one way to make sure that I am not too loud, too confident, too daring.

Because this system is so automated, it is really hard not to do these things, which makes it a systemic problem. It is therefore extremely important to have mirrors like my friend who point out “hey, don’t do that” which leads to a level of reflection about these topics, and only if we reflect on the things we want to change will we be able to actually really change something.

So, yes, it is often good to trust that little voice. But there are voices in our heads that are not our own, but voices of structures, belief systems, gender roles and mechanisms that do not help us evolve and grow but slow us down to the point of standstill. These are not the voices we should listen to.

Processes that help everyone express their ideas freely, without restriction, without censorship, without giving importance to age, gender, seniority, experience or other factors, simply acknowledging that any idea can be valuable, are also processes that can help us overcome these unhelpful boundaries.

Nadja Schnetzler

Written by

Innovation expert, collaboration explorer, entrepreneur, kanban-addict, baroquemusic lover, «Hands off Parent».

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