FROM MY NARRATIVES:
JOURNEYS INTO MYSELF
LOVE WILL SAFELY LEAD YOU
And when I have announced departure, she leaned on my shoulder to soap:
“How could I live amidst all the objects that vividly carry your odor?”
And I answered:
“Beloved, weep not, I carry you in my heart, and will continue celebrating your love in spite the dark nights of separation. And at the port of my departure, Father’ last words were: “May the peace found in the motherland, make you overcome the fear of the agitated seas and the darkness of the starless nights. And when love receives you, think not of the wind, only it can torment the dry branches in the palm trees.”
And during the years of separation, Father’s words have kept echoing against the hollowness of my lonely heart. And his wisdom never ceased to speak to me about the meaning of home.
“You don’t become the master of the home in holding the keys to its doors, rather when you hold the home close to your heart. Keys can open doors, but never can they deliver you the home. Home is memories, hopes of the future, but above all, it is that constant burning of love that binds the lovers, creators of the home’s holiness, a solid foundation for its standing. You can take refuge in things, but only in their meaning can you find yourself. And the love you have for the beloved will carry you through the entanglement of the fresh temptations, fidelity is a prayer to God, infidelity is a loud invocation of the devil’s power. Infidelity is Satan’s gift to the impure hearts; you possess God through love. The flux leaves the ordure on the shore; thus is the temptation’s fate when fought under God’s guidance. The flux is the agitations of the sea dreaming to find peace on the shore; a goal that its anger was trying to deny. Oh holy stars, there is a song in my heart. I dream to offer this song to the sea to calm its anger and convert its indifference; so may my journey toward the beloved will be safe. And my heart will live in anguish until it rests on her arms; on them God’s grace becomes palpable to me. And upon my return I shall bow before those closed doors that have kept the tale of her fidelity; in fidelity tears of cold loneliness begets warmth. Through the melodic murmurs of the sea, I hear the voice that the beloved is praying for my safe return. And from her prayers I fabricate the sail that will land my ship on the safe shores I had left in the volatile days of my youth. And my return will be a testimony to my love for the beloved who had released me in the hope of return. And the sad melodies of separation become a song of love that forever I will sing to her; my wandering days have ended in her tender heart. “Love is the point of departure and arrival for all what God blesses and humanity cherishes,” said the wisdom of my father.
Beloved, behold, today I’m returning to you with a handful of stars to rest them in your hands; and they will burst with light before your eyes. And when light is present; man’s path becomes a joy no memory of past sadness can erase. And I shall bow before those closed doors that have kept the tale of your fidelity. And in the middle of the night I’ll wake up and kneel to thank God who has landed me again into your arms; your fidelity has been a temple of love. Oh you all the stubborn forces of evil spirits, retreat. What God has united, no force can dissolve, what God holds forever will remain His. It is the victory of hope over despair, of life over death. And when the nuptial garment is embroiled, the lovers’ hearts compose new songs; the menaced voyage on the agitated sea has been achieved in the tranquility of their love. In love one grows, and to every growth there is a ceremonial, and in every ceremonial there is a heart that composes the zest for that ceremonial. Words and gestures can’t nourish man, but a loving heart can decipher their hidden meanings. Every night I woke up to embrace eternity and the beloved, who have guided me to it. Eternity is love overcoming the fragility of our human condition.“You find eternity through the time marked by the handles of your wall o’clock. Even walls that confine your freedom can rest you in the arms of the eternal. Life is born in time to be celebrated in eternity,” said the loving man, my father. And my parents bathed in the light of their love, and our domicile was a shrine for the newlyweds, who dreamt to nourish their- forever- hungry hearts and restless souls.
The Bedouin understood quite well that he can’t travel at night if he doesn’t have the friendship of the stars that lead him to his family, and his tent pinched against the wind is but the wind’s exigency of the anguish, creator of that friendship. The stars illuminate the tent and the wind carries along God’s breath to lead him to his family taht awaits him in prayers.
“Love will safely lead you to the heart of the beloved,” said the wise man, my father.