I won’t say #IAmKabul. For I’m Kabul, Kunduz, Kandahar, Helmand, Shamali, Herat… until I take my last breath.

This morning I woke up to yet another heart wrenching news. Our beloved Kabul is grieving yet again. But, I’m not going to change my Facebook profile to my precious red, green and black flag, nor I’m going to say #IAmKabul. For I’m Kabul, Kunduz, Kandahar, Helmand, Shamali, Herat… until I take my last breath. I’m not going to give condolences to all those innocent families left behind, because no word can heal a mother’s stung heart. Nothing, nothing and no amount of tear can bring back all those innocent lives lost forever.

With every attack in Afghanistan I feel wrathful and shaken. I’m angry for all the wrongdoings of the Afghan government on Afghan people.

I’m angry that Karzai, dared to call the Taliban brothers. In spite of multi-pronged attack in Kabul and other Afghan cities, throughout his presidency, he insisted on calling those disgusting men his brothers, instead of destroying them when he had the chance to do so. Was he one of them? 
I’m angry that Abdullah, hasn’t done anything except leading a lavish life with the money he has stolen from all those working children of Afghanistan, all those old laborers, all those women who have no choice but to prostitute themselves to feed their children. Why should he be in power, what are his credentials to run a country? 
I’m angry that Ghani, has done nothing to protect Afghans, and instead he calls those who escaped Afghanistan to save their lives cowards. What has he done to better the situation to secure his nation’s safety? He is not a leader. He doesn’t even know the basic of diplomacy. Have you seen him talk and scream and curse whenever interviewed? He’s an academician, not a leader.

I’m angry that suicide attacks in Afghanistan are so common that they hardly make it to the headlines of NYT. Yet capturing of Afghan refugees’ images brings NYT reporter the Pulitzer Prize. A tragic irony, only we, the subjects of despair understand.

I’m mourning the fate of my innocent people. My beloved nation is more dangerous and tired than it has ever been. Today and everyday, I mourn for my people. I mourn for their helplessness. I mourn for every Afghan child whose childhood is stolen from. I mourn for all those families torn apart. For all those women and men widowed. I mourn for all those children who become orphans in matter of minutes. I’m sad. I’m depressed, for I know that nothing will change, at least not in my lifetime.