Today I start rewriting the script of my life.
In my early 20’s, I became bulimic and it took almost 10 years for the uncontrollable impulse of excessive eating and throwing up to take my life upside down.
At the age of 30, I had to give up my corporate job because the condition continued every night until dawn, and with a 2–3 hour sleep for about 6 months in, I was too exhausted to go to work one morning.
It’s been 15 months since I hit the rock bottom on that day when I just couldn’t get out my bed anymore and no energy was left inside.
The journey’s been full of struggles and surprises. And now, as I try to integrate myself into the real world, I mean, I have to make a living somehow, I feel like I need a major change in how I live and make a statement on how to create a life on my terms.
So here’s the game-changing ideas for me to start rewriting the script of my life.
- Accept myself for who I truly am. There’s nothing wrong with loving the solitude more than anything!
- Tell stories based on the real emotions or events experienced in my life.
- Give myself the permission to allow my femininity to show and become as beautiful and simple a woman as I can possibly become.
- Do not take a job too seriously. Just be of service and live humbly.
For me, those 4 things are unbearably difficult things to do. I have denied these true qualities and desires about who I am for my entire life.
“I am extrovert and make friends with anyone easily. I am not creative. I am too fat and ugly to want to become beautiful. The only value I have is my ability to work well and to prove it, I need to make more money than the average people.”
These narratives not only are false, but have made me feel disconnected, lost and constantly depressed. They MUST. CHANGE. NOW.
I would like to say “Thank you” to the Universe, for giving me this painful yet valuable experience for me to learn who I am and do a lot more of me.
I will keep my faith in the timing of my life and how things will be better from now on.