Nowadays, I have room in my heart for thinking about what could push me past my breaking point. I can see what I’m seeking and what is what’s necessary to live a fulfilling and healthy life, at least than before — I will walk you through what got started to make my heart empty and how I realized that.
Overwhelmed with self-actualization needs
FYI: I’m a student, passionate about software development. While keen interests and feelings of love let me be passionate at first, after a while I’m more likely to prioritize feeling that I’ve got to become an awesome guy over it. Don’t get me wrong, self-actualization needs is not bad. In fact, it would be a significant factor. It’s not about whether self-actualization needs is good or not; it’s whether I make it a top priority or not — that is, keen interests and feelings of love should be a top priority. Once you reach a particular level, you are likely to want to become stronger than others. That’s good, that would make you feel excited. Nevertheless, if you’d pay attention too much, you are more likely to choose the options that can get boring.
How beneficial was today?
At end of day, I often considered the value of that day: how much skill I improved, what kind of learning did I get, and so on. Because of feeling restricted by that, the keen interests and feelings of love was starting to go away. In addition, my skills are never improved as long as my mind is something like that. Asking what the meaning of all my time is makes myself suffer. Viktor E. Frankl says:
“Ultimately, man should not ask what the meaning of his life is, but rather must recognize that it is he who is asked. In a word, each man is questioned by life; and he can only answer to life by answering for his own life; to life he can only respond by being responsible.”
― Viktor E. Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning
Don’t ask how beneficial today was, ask whether I had another fun day today.
Obsessed with finishing until the deadline
As long as I had tasks to do that have the deadline, I’ve been obsessed with finishing that. That kept on activating my sympathetic nervous system until 1 minute before going to bed or also after that. At the time, I completely thought there was no problem but, I had so greatly underestimated. Just as a flame needs oxygen to keep burning itself, passion needs emotional leeway to keep burning itself. if I keep on, I could become burned out — physical, mental, or emotional exhaustion caused by overwork or stress — more than likely. Always straining my mind makes life poor.
Someone has gone
All failure and negative things enhance my motivation to make use of this experience — except losing someone that includes lovers and friends. Last year, one of the my friends was snatched away by sudden death — He was only twenty-one — That happening taught me that I definitely cannot totally convert losing someone to a positive thing. So what I gotta do is taking good care of the time that I spend with them.
I’ve got so much significant stuff to do? — Whatever!
I didn’t take in so much useful information today? — Whatever!!
There ins’t enough time to become an awesome guy? — Whatever!!!
Maybe nobody could completely match my above sense of values. Therefore, what I want you to take from this article is the importance of getting to know yourself deeply ASAP. The sooner, the better. Because I know myself some extent, I was able to realize what is more likely to drive me into a nervous breakdown; and absolutely, the more I know, the more I realize.
Get to know yourself, discover the real you. Good luck.