Embracing our contradictions
“Sometimes it’s amazing how we hold on so desperately to what makes us miserable. I often think there is a kind of addiction within us to what is negative about us. And maybe we need to re-value that which is negative” - Leslie Hershberger.

The contradictions in our beliefs and actions
The irresistible smell of scrambled eggs and buttered mushrooms wakes up the blooming flowers on the first day of spring. Next to Anne is also a bowl of kale salad and a glass of deluxe Belgium chocolate which is clearly made from Cadbury’s instant chocolate powder and filtered hot water.
There is an estimate of 375 million vegetarians worldwide, according to 2014 Meat Atlas of the Friends and the Earth and Heinrich Böll Foundation.
Anne is one of them.
and so am I.
While Anne is obviously a fictional character which I had to create to open the discussion for absolutely no reason, I have no doubt that if the story went on, she would have been asked at least once by her colleague regarding her less-cool-choice of being a vegetarian.
Or maybe not.
But I definitely have been asked.
The question usually goes like this: So why did you choose to be a vegetarian?
And my answer would always be about avoiding flesh with a strong touch of love for animals.
Then I would continued my scramble eggs and buttered mushrooms.
- — -
One time, I was reading an article from foodwise.com.au while sipping my classic cappuccino, this was an extract from the article:
“This is an industry that deliberately gets a female pregnant, allows her to give birth and greet her newborn, only then to remove her young — and in most cases sends her calf to be slaughtered before they have even experienced a week of life. All so that humans can drink the milk that nature intended for her baby”
I stared at my cappuccino, it was a quarter full.
While I might appeared as a considerate and compassionate human being in the first scenario, I definitely felt a strong sense of guilt in the peaceful cafe with the cappuccino in my hand. In another word, I felt a strong sense of contradiction in my choices.
Umm, contradiction. My favourite word. Now we get to the point.
The above stories is just a small part of our endless contradictory beliefs and actions. Whenever I think of contradictions, I think of the concept of Yin and Yang. The fundamental principle of Yin and Yang is that all things exist as inseparable, contradictory opposites and interdependent.

Just as easy as noticing the black dot form (Yin) within the white shape (Yang), it is not hard to realise the differences or contradictions within our beliefs, words and actions.
In fact, you don’t even have to try to look for the bad, you just naturally see them, because they are there.
I have always been trying to eliminate contradiction in my choices, because otherwise I would be a hypocrite. But soon I realised that it is impossible to eliminate all contractions out of your beliefs, because just like Yin and Yang, the contradictions are interdependent, inseparable, interpenetrating and yet complimentary.
Embracing our contradictions
I believe we should allow different sides within us to meet and cross path with each other. The force of energy within your contradictions can actually bring you to a new growth and possibility. As I try to explore the concerns in modern day’s relationships, the concerns from overworked minds and hurting hearts, I realise many of our frustrations coming from the discipline and rules that we believe they keep us grounded.
If there is a cool Mean-Girl-group representing our emotions, Frustration always tends to sit with Morality, like they’re having lunch together and only wear pink on Wednesday. Morals are created based on your experience and beliefs. As your soul gets wiser and your life experience gets thicker, morals should also have room to grow, and to change. We take moral rules as a description where your soul wants to go.
Often, the search for happiness means embracing both sides the contradictions. Make peace with them, don’t fight against them. W.H. Auden articulates powerfully the tension of self-discovering: “Between the ages of twenty and forty we are engaged in the process of discovering who we are, which involves learning the difference between accidental limitations which it is our duty to outgrow and the necessary limitations of our nature beyond which we cannot trespass with impunity.”

It’s okay to feel at odds with our choices and everything else around us. It’s okay to realise there are more questions emerge from our inner underworld. As long as you focus on the Yang of the your beliefs instead of the Yin, you will establish an appreciation for your contradictory and complementary side within you, because without all these contradictions, you wouldn’t be you.
As I walk in my usual cafe, my barista smiles at me and welcomes with his usual warm husky voice: One large cappuccino, scrambled eggs and buttered mushroom.
Inspired by: