5 Big Reasons to Stop Pleasing People
Struggling With that Disease To Please? We Hear You!
Care too much about other people’s approval and you will be their prisoner. And I’m not just trying to talk sharp or inspire some big personal growth idea that will just flop. We get hungry gaps in our life because of repression and it’s not because of failure. We become empty due to inaction!
Take heed that with all the conformity going on around us, we get lost in the real story of our life which is about prioritizing personal growth and living our dreams. A ton of us would surround ourselves with aphorisms — inspirational quotes posted on our desks, life quotes posted in our social media timelines, but the act of following our path still becomes scary because of all the prying eyes!
I’m Asian and the close-knit community I have is my shelter. However, I also do find this suffocating because of the restrictions that I inherited. For so many years of my early life, I festered from inside until a dark phase caused a lot of un-reckoning. It then led to some degree of depression and a big guilt. Finally, after more than 15 years, it did lead to enlightenment and acceptance.
The road to happiness can get blocked by our wrong assumptions about who we should be and how far we should go for other people. We’re here to help you evaluate priorities and to focus on your personal growth.
So come on over, that road to following your dreams starts now!
Life Strategy: First Off, Let’s Look At the Current Issue
Society conditioned us from a young age in our life to conform. In school, stereotypes of having the it girls, the jocks, the popular kids flocking with each other. There are always certain rules on who to hang out with and what to wear. Then silly stereotypes that Asians are good in math, and popular girls should only date certain guys.
The label gets quite suffocating.
Iwas amazed at the last 20 years and how a lot of things have radically changed life for the better. When the cheerleader would also become CEO and their so called jock also flaunted his geeky side ( now, that’s sexy!) I especially cheer the nerd who grabbed a guitar and started writing songs with his garage band!
We’ve done well in embracing diversity. Our more liberal time enabled us to explore our talents and to be many things. We’ve done so well learning how to reinvent ourselves to live a life our parents can only dream of.
True, plenty still has to be worked on, but we have to be grateful for
how far we’ve gone in life.
Now, with plenty of us are still stuck having to seek approval from people, it’s still important to self-reflect on life. By caring so much about naysayers, we are putting people on the throne instead of placing our precious dreams on center stage and treasuring personal growth.
We’re here to help you break the mold. Yes, so you can reach your biggest dreams, ( as long as it’s legal! But that’s a conversation we’ll have at another day )
So consider the following reasons to follow your dreams, stop pleasing people too much, and break from the mold.
1. You Have only One Life to Live.
You have a finite time here to chase dreams, tweak your life and focus on your personal growth.
Our time here is fleeting. If your doctor tells you that you only have one week to live, that opinion of your co- worker about your accent wouldn’t matter at all. .So why do we put so much importance in people’s opinions?
We have been blessed to live at a time when biases are being eradicated, racism is being protested, and yet many of us waste the advantage we have over from people who lived a hundred years ago. By trying too much to win people’s approval, we walk back to the jail we created in our minds.
2. Some People Are Born To Never Ever Approve You.
Believe it or not. Millennials call them haters. Don’t get sucked into people’s bitterness. People with failed dreams, resentful of having a mediocre life, jealousy issues, or stern beliefs are not worth your time. It’s time to mind your life and follow your path even if someone else has a problem with it.
Like look, even smiley-face, super likeable Pastor Joel Osteen has experienced so many oppositions in his journey as a church leader. If the most pleasant guy like that would have detractors, just focus on your own self-actualization and tune out from the background noise of haters and naysayers, darlings.
Take that road to better things and don’t look back.
3. You Won’t Be Truly Free Until You Stop Pleasing Everyone
That jail in our mind sucks. Big time. And it’s easy to get incarcerated in that prison because of our self-talk. Always pleasing people also make us live such a small life. We deserve better.
Embrace the scared kid in you. Tell her it’s OK to fail, that it’s OK to not look good sometimes. And maybe some people around you have issues that aim to keep people around them stagnant, including you. But you have a unique path to follow and you can’t shift your shape in order to please everyone.
4. No One Is Really Completely Right Or Wrong
And for so many times, arguments are won by those who can present such great arguments. And that’s all well and good, but I don’t want to fall captive by great debaters. Life is too precious to be manipulated and whipped into shape by the majority. Being a part of a circle is not worth it if you’re always leaping out of your skin from discomfort.
The universe is self-organizing and self-correcting. Listen to your intuition. Life has a way of always talking to you. It will whisper your purpose and also tell you things that you should do. Tune-in to your inner voice.
Life is more than just about pleasing people. Ignoring your true self is what causes mental breakdowns and emotional disarrays.
5. You’ll Miss Big Adventures If you Choose to Always Conform
Not moving will wilt your soul. It’s not a way to live one’s life. Stagnation will make you bitter. It might also push you to take on gossip which is a really toxic habit.
There’s nothing worse than sitting by the window, watching the world go by because people told you it’s not right to go play outside.
A few of us become bitter from the fatigue we get form pleasing people. And frustrated. With broken dreams. And broken hearts. And repressed souls.
Mavericks are often people who break from the mold. They also are the most criticized before their success. Focus on your personal growth. Forget about pleasing people.
I think that the graveyard is the richest place in the world.
Because there, buried, are all the unpublished manuscripts, the next big business that never got launched, all the hidden potential that died together with those many people. And so once more, I’ll wrap this story by asking you to tune-in to yourself instead of being so afraid of people’s judgments. Cheap and easy happiness is never going to last.
At the end of your life , you won’t say things like “I wish I focused on pleasing people to maintain my self-image.”
Go carve your own path. Claim it as yours. Set yourself free and learn how to fly. Don’t let other people’s dogma and opinion drag you down.
Go out with your head held high, with a spring your step, chasing your dreams! May the #FIERCE be with you!
This was originally published at https://beingfierceafterforty.com/personal-growth-5-big-reasons-to-stop-pleasing-people/
Read more self improvement stories at https://beingfierceafterforty.com
