I Said What I Said: A Story About Dealing With White, Outraged Feelings
On my way home today, a white man got in my face and called me “batshit crazy”.
Here’s what happened:
There was a group of people protesting in downtown Philadelphia this evening. The maybe 25–30 protestors were escorted (and ridiculously out numbered) by the police who were on foot, in cars both marked and unmarked, in SUVs, and on bikes.
All the protestors and police started to slowly pass me by and traffic was returning to normal. As I’m waiting for the bus, an older white man maybe in his mid to late fifties, approaches the bus stop and says to me, “those protestors are crazy”. He was clearly upset and felt inconvenienced by this group of peaceful, protesting citizens.
At this moment, I knew I had to choose between ignoring his comment or telling him how I really felt. He looked like he just got done shopping at Boyd’s and needed a dose of reality, so I chose the latter.
I responded and said calmly, “they should be able to protest”.
He asked me to repeat myself even though I know he heard me.
I said it again. “They have a right to protest.”
At this point, I can tell he’s angry. He fusses at me and says they don’t need to be protesting. While still being calm, I respond again. “They’re protesting, and should be able to protest anytime and anywhere.” (Things they were protesting: war, imperialism, and white supremacy. So yeah, I absolutely was defending them AND my right to give my fucking opinion whether he liked it or not.)
Now he’s furious. He’s moving closer to me, but I don’t move.
“THEY’RE DENYING MY RIGHTS!”
Just like that, this white man yelled in my Black face that protestors were “denying his rights”. My face started getting warm. I asked him, “How? How are they denying your rights?” His response? “THEY ARE DENYING MY RIGHTS! AND THEY’RE DENYING MY RIGHT TO GET HOME!” He’s irate at this point and I’m standing there still trying to wrap my head around what’s happening.
He moved closer to me. I stuck both my hands out and loudly told him to back up. With “shock” and anger, he looked down at my hands. He flagged me with his one of his hands very close to my face, called me batshit crazy, and stormed off screaming, “BATSHIT CRAZY JUST LIKE THEM! BATSHIT CRAZY JUST LIKE THEM!” I looked around frantically repeating to strangers, “did you see that?!” One person approached me who saw the end of the encounter and asked if I was OK.
On the bus ride home, what had just happened was on an infinite loop in my head. I tried to stop myself from thinking about it because who wants to be the lady surrounded by strangers crying on the bus?
I made it home and even as I’m typing this, I’m still processing what happened. He was so aggressive towards me. He thought I was either going to agree or not say anything at all. When I did neither, he repeatedly walked towards me and yelled in my face. The white outrage is real out here.
I wonder what slur he used to describe me when he went home to tell his his family about this?
