As a Wife, My Family Treats Me Like an Extension of Their Home. I’m Tired of It.
I work hard, but as a mom and spouse, I’m fighting unfair expectations
My office is the far corner of the couch. Sometimes it’s my side of the bed. My work hours are usually between whenever everyone stops making noise in the evening and 4:30 a.m. With my husband in coding school in order to increase his earning potential and job prospects — and a daughter in preschool to increase her coloring potential and jumping-around prospects — I’m the only source of family income right now.
I work freelance to pay our bills, but I’m also in the middle of a big project. After over a year of developing, implementing, and researching plans for a community initiative, my project summary earned me an invitation to apply for a fellowship so prestigious even my mother is proud of me. I was told 12 percent of last year’s applicants were advanced to this stage. It’s only going to get harder from here on out, and I have a lot of research to submit.
My husband and daughter have been on winter break all month, and I’m more aware now than ever of how my family sees me. In their eyes, I am domicile. It’s not that I am at home; I am what makes home. I am not mother; I am the motherland. They see me as a what and not who.
