Your desire shall be for the man.

There are so many things on my mind right now. The more I try, the less I know. It seems as if I treat men as my saviours. The thought of man seems to me like a mighty anchor which will pull me out of these stormy seas and redeem me by sending me to the island of hope. Is this all who I am?

Is my identity only to be seen in the light of the male? Perhaps, I hate to admit it, perhaps, women need empowerment and it is not garnered from the male counterpart but to be summoned within the female universe. Receptacles as we are, always receiving and burdened with the heavy responsibility of nurturing and nourishing, we are taught early on in life to be a certain way in order to fulfil our ultimate destiny. ‘Your desire shall be for the man.’

From the very beginning, we are periodically made aware of our limitations and boundaries because we are being raised to become additional human entities. We are, as we are, extensions of the male person, sanctified and consecrated through marriage and dedicated exclusively and completely to the upkeep of children and pets.

The word ‘prudence’ is used to describe a woman gifted by God. The quality of prudence (a term often used in finance) is an amalgamation of virtues that endow the person with the ability to envision the future, and to act with care and thought about the future. One supposes that it would not be too much to say that women have the capacity and vision for long-term planning, exercise discretion cautiousness which presupposes that she anticipates pitfalls and establishes a sense of security within the household.

Yet, girls all over the world, are mostly taught how to behave. Haven’t we been told too many times already that we need to function in a specified way in order to be acceptable? While man can pass off as a maverick, there being no such equivalent pleasant term for women, she remains largely outside, bordering on the skirts of society.

Isn’t it interesting that most phrases indicating shame have feminine undertones or are derived from the inner wardrobe of the female body?

It is ironic that so much talk of equality has resulted in separate queues at booking counters and countless files in reservation categories and more commissions and panels. The truth is women are only being patronised; no one wants to listen to what we have to say. We raise our voice, they remind us of our duties and obligations.

However, thank you for the separate queues and the women’s coupés and the reserved berths and hearths. A larger kennel doesn’t guarantee a happier dog.

Women, do you hear yourself? Do you realise that you are not talking about mascara and feelings all the time?

You may never agree with a female point of view but you have to learn how to co-exist with competing points of view. Your maleness is the construct of your gender; it is not the context upon which you are to exert your imagined superiority.

Let us suppose for a moment that the male is superior. In God’s unique and somewhat incredibly puzzling design where equality and individuality complement one another, the woman is ordained to be a helper to the man. Given this context, it would be safe to assume that the male, in spite of being greater by design, form and function, is still in need of the female for reasons that are obvious and not so obvious, such as procreation, perseverance and, most important of all, posterity. Most husbands live on in the tales of their wives long after they are dead and gone. Yet, little girls are taught only to behave.

It seems, from the terribly limited vista of my experience, that only boys are allowed to have the luxury of getting their questions answered. Mind you, should you not possess the depth to posit a suitable answer to the enquiry of any child, be kind enough to refrain from using the gender conundrum as your exit strategy. This isn’t 1999.

The truth is that managing pots, pans, pets and children require as much common sense, skill and dexterity of judgement as managing a 40 people strong financial organisation that sells bonds. When you start saving, that’s when you really start to earn.

By the way, do not consider yourself enlightened or progressive in any manner if you have the fortune of being with a wife, daughter, sister, mother who challenges your mind. It is the nature of the beast; you have nothing to credit yourself about. You can thank yourself for staying out of the way and being free from the sin of ruining a perfectly and naturally sound mind.

The rules of men are often formed in the bogs of public schools. It is therefore no surprise they smack of obstinate and unyielding teenage trauma. Men cannot re-think or re-evaluate their positions with changing times and their striking irrelevance is generally the product of their unwavering dedication to an ancient, mouldy principle formed in their cantankerous youth in the bogs of public schools.

Women, take a cue from that 1999 Hollywood blockbuster, ‘Runaway Bride’ and find out, like Roberts did, how you like your eggs and don’t jump to Benedict. Try them all before you decide. An enquiry as simple as that may not change your life, at least it will make breakfast tolerable.

Know a little bit about that thing called yourself. You are an individual before you are a woman. Your body presents as many limitations as you want it to. The same goes for the mind.

The heart is human, neither male nor female. It wants what it wants and will mislead if necessary, both man and woman cannot understand it.

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