Giftgiving guide: How to make your lesbian friends happy this Christmas
2015 research indicates(*) you are friends with at least one lesbian (although probably more like 12, as lesbians are well-known to travel in flocks). Here’s a short list of gift recommendations for anyone who’s at loss when it comes to lesbians and presents.
As a golden rule, books are the best platonic way into woman’s heart and also the least useless gift idea you can have. I’m going to list you some excellent me-approved literature in degree of your friendship, beginning with the “hey, I just met you and you’re awesome” level and finishing up at “god, I’ve known you for 20 years, you are the dumbest human being on the planet and I love you”. So, here goes.
Level 1: I don’t really know her, so I’m just going to assume she won’t be offended by books with funny women being funny
- Sue Perkins’ (British gay TV show host and comedienne) spectacular bio, filled with terrible puns.
- Amy Poehler (US comedienne, creator of Parks and Recreation) being Amy Poehler.
- Felicia Day (queen of the geeks, creator of The Guild and actress from Dollhouse and Supernatural) on owning the internet.
- I don’t know what this book is about, but it’s got Amanda Palmer (artist, musician and amazing human being) in it.
Level 2: Oh, she’s a geek! Like, a proper geek, with merchandise and favourite shows and list of fanfic recommendations
- How To Be a Heroine: Excellent list of reasons why should geeky girls never stop reading as much as they want.
- And here’s your omnibus of knowledge on essence of fangirls and their eternal journey through fandoms.
Level 3: So, she’s into feminism. I think
- Envision a future based on feminist principles in the collection of 50 essays, poetry pieces and short stories. What would an abortion process, state legislative constitution and societal standards for good sex look like in feminist society?
- And let’s discuss something light, like rape culture.
Level 4: Girl, you need to sort your life and relationships right away. Here are some books on it
- 2015 show Supergirl’s creator Ali Adler has written a touching guide to love and relationships.
- Hey, I noticed you are having a spot of bother figuring out your sexual identity and what-not. Here’s the best sex manual of girl-on-girl action I could find and trust me, I looked extra hard.
All of the above serve as excellent gifts to anyone interested in long-term relationships with human females and other mythical creatures.
Yeah, but what if she doesn’t like books?
You are wrong, everybody loves books; some are just too chickenshit to admit it. Not to limit your options though, here are some great ideas besides literature.
- Topic of controversy among calendar-enthusiasts and female-hating fashion magazines, 2016 Pirelli’s Calendar.
- Awesome artbook of superheroines in dangerously high heels, Kicking ass & wearing heels by Chris Panda.
- Lumberjanes, the cutest comic series about all-girls camp and their adventures.
That was the very short list of gift suggestions for your lesbian friends. You might want to do a bit of research on your own, just to find the right gift idea for your situation. I hope you have fun and enjoy a very merry gift-giving! :)
(*) Research was conducted by me, using the scientific method of “sounds about right”-isis. I feel it’s fairly accurate, although I’m open to critical debate, preferably with other lesbians.
