Arguments Keep You on the Lower Road
Getting defensive implies that you have something that someone else can take away from you. If you find yourself on the defense in a conversation, or in an argument, you are in a game you don’t need to be playing. Defensiveness comes out of some form of fear, and you never have to go there if you choose not to. If you do find yourself there, you can simply make a new choice
If you find yourself in an argument, you can choose to either become more curious about what the other person is saying, become more generous in your sharing, or kindly excuse yourself from the conversation. The first two options work well together.
An argument is a lower road conversation, and will never take you anywhere that the higher road could take you. Your time is best spent on the higher road, and no matter how long you’ve gone down the lower road, it is easy to change paths.