A Parent-Child Phone Contract

To encourage kids to be good, productive citizens of the digital media world.

Date: October 16, 2016
To: Our nearly 12-year-old son just starting sixth grade
From: Mom & Dad

Dear Son:

We have purchased an iPhone for you to use this year. Congrats! Your new phone number is: (xxx) xxx–xxxx.

This is a powerful device. You now have many times more computing power in your pocket than NASA’s Apollo 11 mission carried to the moon. When we were your age it was inconceivable that a sixth-grader would have the kind of media production and distribution capability that you now have in your hand. If you went back in a time machine and met your great-grandparents when they were your age, they would probably think this phone was magic.

With great power comes great responsitrilligence! So, we have come up with some rules that you must follow and caveats we want y0u to be aware of in order to maintain possession of this device. Let’s discuss this contract after you’ve read through it. If you have any questions or think anything should be changed or edited, let’s talk about it. To be clear: Mom and Dad own this phone. You have to follow the rules below and show that you understand the caveats if you want to use this phone.

Rules:

• Never look at your phone when you are crossing a street or even when you are walking down the sidewalk. Be aware of your surroundings at all times when you’re out in the city. If you really must use your phone when you’re walking down the street, stop and pull over to the side.
• When you’re with friends, family or with any group of people who have physically assembled for some specific purpose, put away your phone. Be present with people who are in the room with you. Listen to them, talk to them and be with them. Don’t look at a screen when people are talking to you.
• Don’t text, email, publish, say or do anything online that you would not say to someone face-to-face or do in a public place.
• Don’t stop reading books, playing outside and being curious about the world. This technology has that effect on a lot of kids (and adults too).
• You’re not allowed to use the phone in bed. No screens in bed.
• No phone at the table during meals.
• Follow all of your school’s rules regarding phone use.
• The phone lives and gets recharged downstairs in the kitchen, not in your room.
• We must always know the password to the phone and it will be synched to one of our laptops. We may monitor how you are using the phone.
• Don’t ignore calls or texts from us. Get back to us if we try to get in touch with you.
• Turn off the phone or silence it when you are in a public place like a movie theater or restaurant.
• Don’t photograph, post or publish everything that happens in your life. Maintain your own privacy and the privacy of your family and friends. Keep things to yourself and know that experiences are real and valid even when they haven’t been shared online and none of your friends have “faved” or “liked” it.
• We may discuss, change and update the rules as we go.

Caveats:

Here are some important things that we want you to be aware of now that you are a smart phone-enabled citizen of the digital media world:

• Your time, attention and focus are precious, valuable and easily squandered. This device and most of the apps and technology on it were created by powerful and sophisticated companies. They spend billions of dollars to develop irresistible, addictive ways to take your time, attention and focus away from you. Don’t let them get away with it! Protect, control and direct your own time, attention and focus. Speaking from experience: This is a huge challenge.
• You are being watched. Everything we say and do on our electronic devices is, to some extent, monitored and saved. The company that makes your phone, the company that provides your network connection, the companies that build the apps you use, various government agencies — all of these and probably others — are monitoring you and your activities when you use this phone. Nothing is truly private when it comes to electronic communications. You should always assume that any email, text or post you produce might some day be seen by people you didn’t intend to see it. When you’re doing or saying something on your phone assume you’re doing and saying it standing up on a table in the middle of your crowded school cafeteria at lunch time. Your phone feels private. But really you are in public.
• You are now building a digital profile and history for yourself that may stick with you for your entire life. Once something is published online and pushed out into the digital world it can spread quickly and be difficult or even impossible to take offline. You should assume that some day a college admissions officer, potential employer or person you asked out on a date is going to look you up online. Things that you do and say online today may reappear at some later date. So, be smart and careful about how you present yourself online and what you attach to your name and identity.
• There is a lot of toxic, inaccurate, garbage-information floating around online. Consumption of lots of garbage-information is unhealthy for you and bad for society. A political candidate like Donald Trump, for example, thrives on people being misinformed and believing in things that are not true. Be skeptical of what you read and see online. You have to fact-check and double-check things using sources that you know to be good and reliable. And try hard not spread garbage-information. Make sure something is true and verified by a good source before you share it. Strive not to spread mistruths and inaccuracies. Be a source of good information. If you are not sure of some piece of information or media that you see online, you can always ask us about it.
• Social media sometimes makes you feel bad. There’s a tendency on social media to project a perfect image of oneself. For the most part, no one’s life is actually as good as they make it look on social media. You’re only seeing the stuff they want you to see. Try not to let other people’s “perfect” lives, amazing parties or their numbers of faves, likes and reactions become a source of bad feelings for yourself. Don’t say or do things just to get faves, likes and reactions on social media. And be sensitive that your own social media posts might make other people feel bad or excluded.
• Strive to be the guy who controls and uses his time, attention and focus to create great things that people enjoy and make the world better a better place. At 11-years-old you are already a writer, producer and a creative person. Don’t let this device turn you into just another thumb-scrolling, passive consumer of digital media and apps. Keep being the creator and a producer that you are.

OK! We know that’s a lot of information, rules and warnings. Good luck with this new device and all of the challenges and responsibilities that come with it. Draxx them sklounst. And if you agree with the above, please sign below.

I, ______________________________ have read and understand this contract and agree to its terms.

Signatures:

__________________________
Kid

__________________________ __________________________
Mom & Dad

__________________________
Date