Please Keep Sharing Your Positive Experiences As a Woman in Tech
But be respectful of and helpful to those who aren’t as lucky.
Lily, I’m so glad that you posted this, because we need the different perspectives to have a complete picture of the industry. The issue of sexual harassment and generally unwelcoming behavior in some companies is still incredibly important, and I appreciate that you included ample disclaimers to indicate your desire to not overshadow this.
When I first started coding just over two years ago, I had started to hear the news surrounding behavior and micro/not-so-microaggressions in the industry. And, as a minority woman, I also paid close attention to the responses.
We all want to feel like when we ask for help — with our career, with our work, with building our skills, and especially when we call out problems we’re facing that are a direct result of others’ choices — that we’ll be heard.
So, seeing some responses by the Denizens of the Internet to women’s legitimate problems in the workplace has been disheartening. They minimize the problem, gaslight women, and generally support putting women in a position where their career success is dependent on accepting mistreatment without complaint.
And I admit that it probably swayed a lot of my decision to work in a traditional coding role. With life-long self-esteem and confidence issues, the best place for me to incubate, explore my true superpowers, and build myself up was by myself, in a solitary environment.
It even led to me flexing my self-discovered entrepreneurial skills and launching my first online course, 30 Days to Web Development. I’m desperate to help others not succumb to low self-esteem and learning anxiety like I did.
But I think frequently about how it would have been, working at a company. My career experience has been a fight since the beginning, building my way back up after graduating in 2007. I’ve had to convince people of my worth, every step of the way.
And this isn’t unique — everyone has to do that during the life of their career. But I don’t think that people who have been fortunate enough to not endure that struggle can really appreciate how dang difficult it makes the already massive challenge of finding and retaining employment in tech as a woman.
In response to one of your points, for example, you have been very lucky to not have your job jeopardized by photos of pole dancing. I know women personally who have lost their job for far less, including being labeled “argumentative” and “difficult” when they assert their desire NOT to be driven out of their position by consistent disrespect and aggression.
If you have the good fortune to not face these issues, keep writing. Women, especially women changing into the tech industry, need to hear your experience, too. It’s hopeful, and it shows that not every company is insensitive to the experience of women.
But, be sure to include those disclaimers like Lily did, and remember that your experience is thanks to women before you who stood their ground and embraced the issues they faced. Your experience is yours alone, and the most important work you can do with that experience is to help improve others’. ♥️
