Sophia, your story is a courageous one. You’re going to have a wonderful, life-changing experience at Grace Hopper Academy! So much of what you said resonated with me, especially with my deeply-entrenched generalized anxiety that I am exerting myself every day trying to beat into submission, while starting a web development business. I dumped a boyfriend back in 2015 who sat down and started searching for $10/hour jobs (on my computer, in front of me, no less) when I was fired from my last customer service job after I told him I wanted to teach myself to code.
Explaining the magnitude of anxiety and imposter syndrome’s effect on my life to anyone who doesn’t experience it themselves has been largely an exercise in futility. My ship also sailed when I let that anxiety (and very poor advice) talk me out of staying in the Computer Science major program at Wellesley. Some folks out there say that everyone experiences it, but I have definitely observed that some simply don’t second/third/fourth-guess themselves the way that I tend to.
The fact that you’re doing something about it, though, is so very admirable. The road ahead will be a difficult one, but there are many of us here cheering you on. Please keep us posted!