The love-bombing phase in narcissistic relationships is a deceptive and manipulative tactic used by narcissists to lure their victims into a false sense of security and intimacy. This intense and overwhelming shower of affection, praise, and attention can be intoxicating for the victim, creating an illusion of a perfect and blissful relationship. However, within this love-bombing phase, narcissists often engage in a strategy known as future faking.

Future faking involves making grandiose promises, commitments, and plans for the future that the narcissist has no intention of fulfilling. These promises are designed to manipulate the victim's emotions, deepen their emotional investment, and maintain control over the relationship. The narcissist paints a picture of a beautiful and fulfilling future together, playing on the victim's hopes, dreams, and desires.

During the love-bombing phase, the narcissist may make extravagant declarations of love, professing that they have finally found their soulmate and envisioning a life of happiness, stability, and success with the victim. They may talk about marriage, starting a family, buying a home, or embarking on exciting adventures together. These promises are often accompanied by romantic gestures, gifts, and constant expressions of affection, reinforcing the illusion of a perfect and idyllic relationship.

However, behind these grand promises lies a calculated manipulation tactic. Narcissists use future faking to keep the victim emotionally invested and dependent on them for validation and fulfillment. By painting a rosy picture of the future, they create a sense of hope and anticipation that keeps the victim engaged and willing to overlook red flags or inconsistencies in the relationship.

Future faking also serves as a means of control and power. The narcissist uses the prospect of a happy future together as leverage to manipulate the victim's behavior and choices. For example, they may use promises of commitment or marriage to pressure the victim into complying with their demands, overlooking abusive behavior, or tolerating mistreatment under the guise of "working towards a better future."

Moreover, future faking can prolong the cycle of abuse by keeping the victim hooked on false promises and illusions of change. Victims may stay in toxic relationships, hoping that the narcissist will eventually fulfill their promises and transform into the loving partner they were initially led to believe in. This false hope and anticipation can make it difficult for victims to recognize the manipulation and break free from the cycle of abuse.

It's important for individuals to be aware of future faking and other manipulative tactics used in narcissistic relationships. Recognizing the difference between genuine commitment and empty promises can help protect against exploitation and abuse. Building healthy boundaries, trusting intuition, and seeking support from trusted friends, family, or professionals are essential steps in navigating and healing from narcissistic love-bombing and future faking.

Daniel Ryan Cotler NPD Survivor & Educator

Best-selling poet and author. Narcissistic abuse expert. Founder of the Heal Loudly Movement and Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Community Blog and Podcast.