Always the same dream/nightmare
The sun rays bounce off my yellow dress, the wind slightly lifts it away from my skin. The summer air smells of blossoms and fruit as I walk to the corner cafe. I am in a great mood, my feet are skipping inconspicuously. I smile at everyone I pass by, somehow there is a song playing to the beat of my steps.
As I turn the corner is when I first hear the sound, that Woop Woop that sends shivers down my spine, then came the lights flickering in their deadly red and blue. I stop skipping and I inch closer only to have my fears realized, gun raised point-blank. A black man stands his feet spread apart, his back to the pistol his trembling hands on the back of his head. I see his eyes and in them, the fear, the pain, the anguish is clear as day, his eyes call to me “Help me.”
I step forward, my feet taking me before my mind decides. I am slowly drawn towards him, unaware of the imminent danger I walk with purpose glued to his face. The only thing that breaks my trance is the words “ma’am step away, this is not about you. Step away from the suspect.” He called out to me, only then did I turn slightly to see into his icy cold eyes. I saw no depth in them, only years of hatred rooted deep, illogical unreasonable hatred but hatred it was.
I walk past the black man who now had tears rolling down his face, lost and accepting his fate before it was even thrust upon him. I step in front of him and raise my right hand in front of the gun keeping my eyes glued to the officer in front of me. I stood between them, afraid of what might happen and yet set in my purpose. A stare down that I knew would most likely end with a bullet lodged in my torso.
With my left hand, I grab the black man’s shoulder and slowly push him down to his knees. He doesn't fight, he slowly lowers his body head bowed down. I hear him murmur under his breath, at first I can’t make out the words but then “… and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us”
A moment passes or is it an eternity? My knees are shaking, my heart tries to beat its way out of my chest, and yet I still stand. Arm raised, eyes pleading with a praying man behind me. I stand and wait for the end, I wait for a miracle. And then a crack, a flash of light and I wake up covered in sweat. I never get to the end, never find out if the flash of light was the blast from the gun or lightning striking. Did I save him? Did we both cease to exist?
