Miss Sunflower
Sep 8, 2018 · 4 min read

Why Waitresses of Color are Exhausted

“Who’s that black girl working tonight?”

I started off cocktail waitressing in casinos, to pay my way through college, while attending Delaware State University. I was a first generation college student, with extremely deep, empty pockets. I used the last of my saving, from my high school fast food job, to pay for books and Ramen noodles. My family couldn’t afford to just give me money every week, like some of my privileged colleagues were accustomed to. I had to do what I had to do; work Full Time as a cocktail waitress at the casino across the street from the school.

This should be a “piece of cake” right?

Boy was I wrong.

My first week was very uncomfortable and stressful. I looked around at my new coworkers, all of them seemed to have a certain image that I lacked. They were thin, Caucasian and glamoured up; think, “Hooters girls”. They had a clientele that knew them, men tipping $100-$1,000 just for their looks. I started off financially making less than them. But I didn’t get discouraged; I worked harder.

I would walk through the sections of slot machines chanting “Coffee, Sodas, Cocktails!” Some people would raise their hand to get my attention and then change their mind when they looked at me. Then those same people would get the attention of another girl passing by to take their order when they thought I wasn’t in sight; but I saw it.

A customer asked my coworker, “Who is the black girl that you have working tonight?”

I felt like I was abnormal. She asked that as if it were too much to ask me what my name was, or better yet, start a conversation with me. I am personable and approachable! I felt insecure and different.

Here it was 2013 and people were surprised to see a woman of color as a cocktail waitress. But I kept a smile on my face. Through all the snide remarks, being stiffed over and over and the complaints, I still managed to come to work everyday, with a smile on my face. That smile hid the many nights I’ve cried myself to sleep, the depression and suicidal thoughts that I contemplated and the stress from the pressures of being a full time worker and student. I was exhausted.

I’m not excited anymore.

It was a busy day and I preparing to rotate into a good, money making section. The waitress coming out of the section says to me, “Mr so-and-so is out there, he’s a good tipper, you should do good tonight”. All the other girls chime in, “Yeah he gave me a $100 chip every time I served him” and “Oh he gave me that also” and other “Me Toos”. So I prepared myself mentally to make less than that, I didn’t want to get my hopes up. Of course I go to Mr. So-and-so, (mind you he has stacks of money in front of him while he’s gambling), gave him exceptional customer service, he gives me $5. Like I don’t have bills just like these other girls to pay. I had to face it, I was too dark and plus size.

The high roller nightmares.

We had our “high roller” patrons called “Elite” or “Black card” members. They felt self entitled. Some of them mixed service with servitude. They would leave a mess and tell them that it is your job to clean it. Solicit sexual relations with the cocktail girls as an exchange for a “good tip”. If you didn’t do what they wished, they would write a letter to management and, no matter if it was full of lies and pure prejudice, your job could been in jeopardy because of that persons “high roller” status.

Black women have to experience a new dimension of discrimination in the service industry. It often times goes unnoticed because many people are oblivious to the fact that we still live in a prejudice day in age.

The Reevaluation and Recharge Session.

I had to figure out how could I possibly be able to make money and overcome the issue of prejudice in the service industry. I began to wear makeup and change my hair often. I prayed everyday before taking a step into my job. I would sit in the car and say “Lord thank you for letting me see another day, please allow me to get through the day with focus and determination. Protect me from evil and wickedness, Amen.” This prayer has helped me get through the day with a positive attitude. When I was faced with issues I simply smiled.

I focused on the energy of my positive customers. They uplifted me. Hearing a simple, “Thank you”, “I appreciate you” and “You are my favorite” has brought joy to my heart on my darkest days.

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