5 Stages of Virgin Grief

On the surface we , the virgin community, grieve just like any other human experiencing loss. But as a member of the Virgin Elite ( not a real organization) I have 24 years worth of anecdotal proof that we take it to a whole other level.

Allow me to illustrate my theory

1. Denial

The first stage is Denial. Clearly. I personally only briefly visited this stage ; I have always been proud of my lack of sexual experience. But you will find that the majority all together deny their virginity. For fear of seeming like a *insert synonym for lame here.* No one wants to be the high school guy who hasn’t got any . And God forbid your the 24 year old girl who’s never seen a guys junk . World War 3! ( Check out https://medium.com/@natajawells/the-proposition-5ae21be78fcd for the real story on that.) FYI omittance is basically denial. Trust me.

2. Anger

If I’m being honest I was stuck in stage two for a very long time. I was angry that being a girl who is waiting for marriage for sex automatically means buzz kill. I’ve literally been called a dead end before. Like , really ? Jerk! Just because my legs are closed doesn’t mean my heart/mind/ mouth ( get your head out the gutter!) are too. There’s so much more to me ! So much more ! So my angry is a bit sad too , haha sorry. Im angry that men aren’t taught to value their bodies as much as women are so it ends up be categorized as a “girl thing.” I hate that !

3. Bargaining

Then there’s the pleading . For the majority of virgins getting laid is the prayer . Doesn’t matter who or where , just God make it happen. But for me , the prayer is a bit altered . I find myself begging God to pleaseeeeeee send my husband/babydaddy/ life partner. One of my biggest fear is that I will never become a wife and a mother and that I will die a virgin. How sad would that be ?! Like for all that might as well join a darn convent. But I don’t wanna . Please don’t make me !

4. Depression

Nowadays I drift between this stage and the last , depending on how the wind blows. Somedays I have this overwhelming black cloud that follows me spreading doubt and loneliness . I feel like I’ll always be alone . Always be a virgin. But , what about my needs, huh? WHAT ABOUT MY NEEDS?! I feel like California right now , except my drought has lasted a lot longer . Like , a lot . And honestly I don’t know how much longer I will last , the well on the other side is starting to look real good at this point . *dry gulp*

5.Acceptance

I ,Nataja Wells, accept the fact that I will die a virgin.

Now excuse me , while I go drown myself in my own tears .

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