i’m choking on the words unspoken by my lack of courage
the same lack of courage that led me to so much hurt and bitterness
i’m drowning on the memories tattooed on my mind
repeating themselves over and over
i wish i could swoop them away
but the pain follows me like a room with closing walls
maybe its karma for the claustrophobia i submit on
every proof of a feeling that once inhabited my body
still inhabits and will always
how can i say that i wish to get rid of these images
if i don’t even get rid of the images?
how do i find myself in this ocean?
what path is the right one if all of them feel so wrong?
i wish i could go back in time
instead of being chased by the memories of a much greener time
painted exclusively by my mind
conflict invades my room every night
i’m used to it
but tonight, while i was in calm water
it came as a storm
as a war between heart, mind and desire
which will win?
will there be any survivors?